


strawberries & youth

by speckofdustt



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Pining, chuuves - Freeform, humor?, side 2jin, side hyewon, side lipsoul, smut in later chapters hehe, squint for side ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26663509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speckofdustt/pseuds/speckofdustt
Summary: sooyoung never understood the appeal of strawberries until jiwoo proves her wrong. now, it's safe to say that sooyoung finds herself addicted.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip
Comments: 57
Kudos: 378





	1. Chapter 1

the ambiance inside the cafe is at its perfect setting — the rays from the afternoon sun seeping through the translucent glass walls, the faint hum of a melodious music, and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee beans mixing with the sweet scent of the baked pastries. 

it is perfect, truly. or _almost._ because all these aspects infused with a booming voice from the girl across jiwoo is not really a good addition.

it may be safe to say that jiwoo’s ears might start bleeding from jungeun’s nonstop barrage of words which has been going on for not less than an hour.

“i already told you a hundred times jungeun, we are not dating.” jiwoo exasperates, clutching her head in the process. the two girls agreed to study at this quiet cafe beside the university but thanks to jungeun’s overly curious self, jiwoo has not made much progress. all she’s accomplished is just practically opening her book and a few notes.

jungeun snorts. “jiwooming, you guys literally do couple stuff in public,”

“no, we don’t.” jiwoo cuts her short to which the girl only snickers.

“yeah, you do. you hold hands—“ jungeun quips simultaneously closes her books as if to show how fully invested she already is in the ongoing talk about jiwoo’s ‘dating’ life.

“we hold hands.” jiwoo points at the both of them to get her point across, trying to shrug the topic off. 

“it’s different!”

“how so?”

it’s dumb, really. the way jungeun looks around the place suspiciously before beckoning her to lean a little close as if she is about to disclose the government’s top secret. jiwoo decides to just play along because, well, it is not like she has any other choice.

jungeun puts a hand against the side of her lips to cover her mouth from anybody who may be capable of lip reading.

_so extra._

“it’s different because...” and in a much quieter voice, jungeun whispers “ _sexual tension_ — ouch!”

a loud smack echoed across the quiet cafe after jiwoo relentlessly slapped jungeun on her shoulder. “jungie shut up, oh my god!”

she covers her reddening face from the giggling girl in front. “you’re blushing, dear lord! i need to take a picture and show it to chae,”

“you’re so annoying! stop it, you are being delusional!” 

“no but seriously... you guys have this thing where you communicate with your eyes only and do not deny, i am very observant.” and the girl goes on with enumerating. 

jiwoo does nothing but to just sigh because she knows it is going to be hard to cut the girl off. fixing her bangs, she averts her gaze onto her forgotten mug of vanilla latte to take a sip. “...and you guys kissed.”

jiwoo covers her mouth as fits of cough escape from her, trying her best to stop herself from choking any further because of jungeun’s words, flailing her hands disagreeably and almost _too_ defensively. “huh?! what are you saying?”

_kim jungeun is gonna be the death of me._

“see? guilty.” jungeun smirks at her before handing a wad of tissue, “well maybe that was not in public but remember when you came home late after a date with her? i actually went out to go to the convenience store and i saw you getting off her car but not before she kissed you on your cheek.”

“cheeks? yeah... cheek kisses. friends do that. right?” 

one thing a person should not do to a probing friend, especially one that she's known almost all her life, is to blabber, jiwoo knows that. and she also knows that she failed in trying to do so.

the girl narrows her eyes as if sensing something, “you look too defensive. why? don’t tell me...”

“no! cut it off, will you? first of all, it was a friendly date,” jiwoo starts, emphasizing on the word ‘friendly’. “nothing more than a hangout, okay? second, as i’ve said friends kiss on the cheeks. third, quit making it sound like we were making out. phrase your words properly, please.”

_yeah, okay. we kissed on the lips. but that was once. one time. but that is a story for another day... or not at all. damn, i'm not even sure if she remembers._

“fine, lie all you want kim jiwoo but you will never fool me.” jungeun ends with finality as she stares at jiwoo, eyes full of conviction sipping away at her already bland iced drink.

—

jiwoo has her head slumped on the table. she just finished a tedious four hour long lecture full of boring terminologies she knows she would not even remember after the session’s done. so as a result, she has to go through the lecture on her own. it sucks but she got through high school and a whole semester in college so it must work for her just fine.

“what’s up, unnie?” jiwoo hears heejin’s voice ask her but all jiwoo could do was groan.

“she just got off hell, heejin.” jungeun, who’s seated beside her answers. she hears a couple of ‘ahh’s’, confirming that heejin and another person, jiwoo guesses it’s hyunjin, immediately understood what jungeun means.

jiwoo lifts her head up and whines, “i’m dead tired.” 

it is a good day. the sun providing just enough heat on a rather breezy day. the clouds, fluffy and white, while the birds perched on the trees chirp away as they enjoy the cool wind swaying the green leaves. the university’s field is not packed to the brim giving off a much more relaxed atmosphere. on a normal day, this kind of atmosphere is enjoyed by none other than the personification of the sun herself, but apparently, today is not one of those days.

“i perfectly know what can recharge you, jiwoo,” jiwoo glances to her side only to see jungeun sporting a mischievous expression. “who, specifically.”

“oh, i know i know! does this person belong in the same club as i do?” heejin quickly catches on, throwing jiwoo a teasing gaze.

if there is one thing her friends love to do the most, it’s to tease her. well, technically, all of them does but being on the receiving end can be quite irritating.

“yes!”

“and is this person walking towards us right now with jinsol unnie?” hyunjin joins in, surprisingly taking a break from munching on her beloved bread, eyes focused just behind jiwoo and jungeun.

_huh?_ jiwoo turns and sees two familiar students nearing them — the girl on the left with her prominent jaw and a friendly smile on her face while beside her is another girl with a shoulder length hair in her trademark crop top and jeans fit — tiny waist on display. jiwoo meets eyes with the girl on the right and gives her a small smile.

the girl, already with a small grin, contorts her face into an expression that seems to be full of worry as if to ask her if she feels fine. jiwoo raises her eyebrows before shaking her head a little in hopes to dismiss the question.

“and there they go again with talking using their eyes,” jungeun whispers to herself but jiwoo knows it's meant for her to hear.

jiwoo chooses to pay the girl no mind since she does not quite have the energy to argue.

“sooyoung unnie, hi!” heejin greets her dance club senior enthusiastically before turning to jinsol to do the same. jiwoo feels sooyoung's presence behind her, the girl's hand resting on her shoulder before taking a seat at the small space on her left.

“thought you were not supposed to be here until after 30 minutes?” 

she notices how sooyoung must be uncomfortable sitting in that little space so she forcibly pushes jungeun to make some more. 

“hey! where am i supposed to sit then?” pouting from having lost her seat on the bench, jinsol questions.

“geez, there’s a lot of space beside hyunjin and stop pouting.” sooyoung cringes at the sight of her best friend before looking down at the somewhat gloomy girl.

one of the many things sooyoung admittedly finds fascinating about jiwoo is how she’s literally such a positive and bright person all the time. the girl never tires of giving genuine smiles and optimistic remarks that helps reassure them. jiwoo is such a ball of sunshine so seeing her looking so depleted of energy is unusual.

“but i wanna sit beside lippie,” jinsol whines some more then stubbornly squeezes herself into the tiny space beside jungeun.

“professor ended early. you good?” 

the hand on jiwoo’s shoulder makes its way down her back and up again, languidly caressing.

“yup! just tired.” jiwoo sighs softly as she feels herself relax from the softness of sooyoung’s actions.

jiwoo stares at the older and her mind goes to think how sooyoung is such a cinnamon roll — soft and sweet. strangers seem to get the wrong idea about ha sooyoung because of her cold exterior and intimidatingly gorgeous self so jiwoo is really delighted to be one of the few people who gets to see this side of the older. just sooyoung who loves cuddles more than she lets on and not the sooyoung who people think is aloof and unapproachable.

“hmm,” sooyoung softly hums, gives her a tight-lipped smile that resembles a ray before opening her arms just wide enough, “would a hug somehow suffice?”

_so cute._ jiwoo’s eyes widen a little from amusement before crinkling into crescents morphing into a smile. she lunges forward, wrapping her arms around sooyoung’s waist, hands making contact with bare skin on her waist, “always.”

sooyoung, in turn, circles her arms around the small girl, giving her a light squeeze, “poor baby must be so tired,” she coos.

“what the fuck, soo? you know how to talk in tiny texts?” jinsol butts in with a disgusted look on her face from what she just heard, making everyone laugh but sooyoung.

because truly, who would have imagined that the girl with a cool and intimidating persona coos? 

literally no one.

“shut up.” sooyoung’s voice falters from embarrassment until she feels jiwoo snuggling her head into her neck further.

“guys, stop teasing sooyoungie,” jiwoo defends her but continues to chuckle.

“you’re also teasing me.” sooyoung detaches herself from jiwoo, sulking and a gagging sound is heard just beside them — most definitely jinsol.

“no, come back and stop being a whiny baby.” but sooyoung wouldn’t budge so jiwoo takes the matter into her own hands and reaches for sooyoung’s wrist to once again wrap it around her, situating herself back into the comfortable embrace.

“ha! i’m irresistible like that,” sooyoung smugly says. the girl, also, can be a bit... self-loving.

“whatever,”

—

half past four and jiwoo finds herself walking out the building and into the parking. there stood sooyoung fiddling with her phone, leaning on her car with a hand inside her pocket.

sometimes jiwoo wonders how she managed to befriend sooyoung. she thinks the older is too cool to be hanging out with her.

jiwoo makes her way and sooyoung, who must have felt her presence, looks up and gives her a brief hug.

“hey... ready?”

jiwoo nods and mumbles a soft 'thank you' after sooyoung opens the door for her. the moment she enters the car, jiwoo is hit with the familiarity of its scent. 

_sooyoungie’s._

her favorite scent. a scent of a fluttery comfort similar to how she feels home yet jittery when in a close proximity with the girl. 

sooyoung jogs around the car and enters. the engine roars to life and not a second later, they are traversing the busy highway.

small talks are made. songs playing sang enjoyably and before they knew it, the busy highway littered with skyscrapers morphed into greens and browns as they take on a path unknown to jiwoo.

“you haven’t told me where we’re going yet,” jiwoo glances at the girl, eyebrows shaping like a triangle, face full of curiosity.

sooyoung takes a fleeting look and chuckles at the sight of the girl, before focusing on the road again. 

“i told you i’ll show you my secret spot, right? we’re almost there, stop with the disgustingly adorable eyes.”

“hey! it’s not disgusting,” jiwoo pouts even more to which sooyoung just laughs.

she reaches over to pinch jiwoo’s cheeks. sooyoung notices how she finds it hard to resist and contain the urge to just squish her and just litter kisses all over her face. she tries her best though, because doing the latter might put them in an awkward situation. hugs and cuddles are a norm in their friendship but cheek kisses are something they only do when the moment feels right. and it’s platonic... or sooyoung tries to think so. yet it is undeniable that no matter how close or comfortable she is with jiwoo, there's still this feeling of something she can't quite decipher. 

“aww,” 

jiwoo takes sooyoung’s hand from her cheek to stop her from further pinching.

“so squishy, my wooming,” sooyoung says in a baby voice, her hands filling the gaps of jiwoo’s own.

jiwoo feels her heartbeat picking up its pace as they settle in a comfortable silence. she looks down and watches their intertwined hands placed tenderly on her lap. the soft melody from the radio mirrors the softness of the way sooyoung’s thumb draws random pattern on jiwoo’s hand. 

a few more minutes of tranquility passed before the car halts. sooyoung lets go of her hand to turn the engine off and they both get off the car. 

“let’s go,”

sooyoung finds jiwoo’s hand once more as she leads the way. she glances at her watch,

_5:48_

“wow...” jiwoo marvels. 

to say that she’s in awe is an understatement. jiwoo is mesmerized to the point where she feels all her emotions awakening, her eyes stinging just a little. the view in front of her is just too majestic. too good to be true.

those buildings that she once thought to have reached the fluffy clouds seem so small at the moment. the lights from the seoul city emitting a cozy vibe, as the colors pink, orange, and violet fuse in a beautiful painting on the canvass known as sky.

“sooyoung...”

“you like it?” jiwoo looks behind her to see sooyoung with that smile jiwoo loves too much.

sooyoung just never fails to make her heart feel so full. she always knows what to say or what to do and jiwoo just finds herself clutching her chest from having too much of the older. little gestures but big enough to take over jiwoo’s mind.

“are you kidding me?” jiwoo closes the short distance between them and engulfs sooyoung in a tight, tight hug. “thank you for bringing me here.”

_thank you for trusting me._

the girls stayed in that position for a few more moments before sooyoung loosens her hold, “if you continue hugging me, you’re gonna miss the sunset,” 

_i don’t care._ jiwoo speaks in her mind because why bother stare at the unreachable sky when she can hold the older girl instead. when she can hold sooyoung, someone she thought she could never even lay a finger on but look where the girl is now — in her arms.

“jiwoo, hey, are you crying? no...” sooyoung pulls her in for another hug, kissing the top of her head multiple times as she sweetly whispers ‘don’t cry,’

“i’m not crying, i’m just tearing up.”

“but that’s the same thing,” sooyoung humors and that earned her a poke on her side making her squirm a little. “why are you tearing up, though?”

“because...” jiwoo pulls away to stare at sooyoung’s gentle orbs with her ‘disgustingly adorable puppy eyes’ as the older likes to call, “i don’t know... you said this is your secret spot and i... i just feel so honored and touched that you brought me here in your favorite place. i hope i’m not intruding though,” 

sooyoung laughs before disapproving her negative thoughts of being an ‘intruder’. she looks up and sees the beautiful sky. she turns jiwoo around to have the girl gaze at the wonder before them. 

they spent quiet minutes watching as darkness completely pulled the remnants of the sun’s generous light. the cold makes its presence known and jiwoo rubs her hands together to provide herself some warmth.

_should’ve brought my sweater._

jiwoo feels a jacket being draped on her shoulders and as she looks back, she’s met with sooyoung, their faces only a few inches apart. “share? you look cold,”

sooyoung pulls jiwoo even closer by her waist, her front flush against jiwoo’s back as she securely fits them in the jacket she’s wearing, resting her chin on the shorter girl’s shoulder. 

jiwoo mutters a small ‘thank you’ before trailing her eyes back in front.

jiwoo chooses to relish in the moment. adjusting her head against sooyoung’s shoulder, she releases a sigh that of pure contentment. 

“you know what’s better than being in my favorite spot?” 

jiwoo feels sooyoung’s breath by her ears and almost immediately, goosebumps travel down her spine. “hmm, what?”

“being in my favorite spot with my favorite person,” 

jiwoo’s breath hitched in her throat with how much sooyoung’s words impacted her. she feels the girl burying her face on her shoulder, probably embarrassed from what she just uttered, “don’t go shy on me now after those words, sooyoungie...”

sooyoung, after gathering herself, looks up and jiwoo fails to suppress her giggle with how red the girl’s face is. she reaches a hand up to cover sooyoung’s cheek.

“i mean it though,” 

“i know you do,” jiwoo stares back at her eyes and just like that, both find themselves trapped and lost in each other’s pair of galaxies.

a galaxy with a faint image of the other.

and slowly, as if some kind of magnet, the distance between them diminishes until just a breath away. sooyoung stops to look at jiwoo’s eyes full of emotion unknown to her, then down to her lips, hoping to silently communicate her long lasting want- need to kiss her. 

she sees jiwoo purse her lips and sooyoung decides, for once, to stop thinking things through. to just go for it with no inhibitions, no hesitations—

“ohh!” 

they both jump from the sudden sound coming from jiwoo’s pocket. the ringing appearing to sound louder than usual with how quiet the surroundings is.

_fuck it._ sooyoung curses. of course, such thing would happen at a seemingly perfect moment. she closes her eyes and steadies the fast beating of her heart from the earlier situation.

“ohh, uhm...” jiwoo clears her throat, the atmosphere suddenly feels awkward, “it’s jinsol unnie.”

“jinsol?” _fucking jinsol. i’m gonna beat her up._

“she- uhh- said jungeun told her to ask me where am i since jungie feels lazy,” jiwoo explains without looking at sooyoung’s eyes. suddenly it’s hard to even lift her head up. “they must be chilling at home.”

“ahh... well uhm...” sooyoung scratches her nape deciding to call it a night. she feels as though the longer they stay, the more awkward it will be. 

_thanks to freaking jinsol and jungeun._

“i guess i should get you home then,”

jiwoo nods before hesitatingly turning back to the same direction they went from. sooyoung closely follows behind and they walk in a silence so deafening unlike the usual comfortable one. she stares at the back of jiwoo’s head and she feels the irritation bubbling even more as she thinks about the missed chance of finally getting to feel jiwoo’s lips on hers.

jiwoo reaches the car first, patiently waiting for the car to be unlocked while she kicks on the small rocks littering the ground, trying her best to avoid looking anywhere near sooyoung.

sooyoung presses on her keys and jiwoo opens the car door to enter but much to her shock, a hand quickly pushes it close. she turns with a puzzled look to see sooyoung with a blank expression.

sooyoung knows this night couldn’t just end like this. she has already pushed far enough to just let such progress slip away.

“jiwoo...” 

before jiwoo can even answer, she starts feeling too many things at once.

she feels someone’s pair of soft lips on her own. she feels arms finding its way on her waist, pulling her in. she feels her eyes slowly closing. she feels her own arms raising to wrap it around this someone’s neck.

ha sooyoung. sooyoung is that someone.

_sooyoung... is kissing me._

but most importantly, she feels her emotions overflowing, spilling out of her beating heart and translating into actions that she never thought she could do on the daily. actions like pulling sooyoung’s head closer to feel more of her, actions like moving her lips in sync with the older’s — slow, smooth, steady, _perfect_.

this kiss is something jiwoo never knew she would experience. she then learns that books and movies failed to truly convey the essence of such wonderful action. those words from these fictitious stories that once made jiwoo's heart flutter simply by imagining herself in such situation pale in comparison to the real thing.

to jiwoo, nothing can compare to the way sooyoung takes her bottom lip between her own, giving it little tender bites before fully kissing her. setting up a pace that has jiwoo reeling.

_god..._

after what felt like the shortest eternity, they pulled away just enough to gather air, the distance seemed not much considering how their noses are still softly connected. sooyoung stares at jiwoo’s shut eyes as she heaves a deep breath and she can’t help but mentally pat her back for braving it and finally doing what she has wanted to do ever-since.

jiwoo, in turn, slowly opens her eyes only to stare at sooyoung’s half-lidded ones — tantalizing.

“strawberries,” sooyoung suddenly mutters, adjusting her hold on jiwoo’s waist to a tighter one.

“hmm...” jiwoo softly hums, having trouble finding her words, subconsciously playing with sooyoung’s hair by her nape.

“i didn’t know strawberries taste this good,” 

confused, jiwoo adorably scrunches her face in question. sooyoung thought that there is absolutely no better way to clarify her claim than to show the girl.

and so, under the crescent moon, sooyoung captures jiwoo’s lips for a sweet passionate kiss.

a kiss that has sooyoung believing that strawberries indeed taste good. 

with jiwoo’s soft lips, proving her right. and no one but the alluring moon and the twinkling stars as their witnesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! yeah so i think this will be a multi chapter au :> i hope you like it,, comments would be very much appreciated, please tell me your thoughts about the story hihi
> 
> i apologize if there are spelling or grammatical errors


	2. Chapter 2

silence. an uncomfortable, awkward silence engulfs the tight space of sooyoung’s car. the air is heavy and jiwoo feels rather suffocated inside yet she tries her best to appear nonchalant as she busies herself with her phone.

jiwoo has been in every social media account of hers — scrolling through her timeline in twitter, liking her friends’ tweets, to watching people’s instagram stories. somehow, her attention feels too divided, the girl beside taking most of it. she has even gone as far as sending jungeun messages full of random letters and symbols repetitively until the girl finally replies.

_**‘what is your problem?’** _

_**‘nothing!’**_ jiwoo quickly replies. she’s still having mixed feelings on whether to tell the girl or not. although she knows she probably will, spilling the tea through text is not the way to go. jiwoo thinks she won’t be able to express her genuine emotions through the device.

_**‘stop texting me,,’**_ jungeun replies not a second later and before jiwoo knows it, her thumb has already been rambunctiously pressing on her keyboard randomly.

_why does the time seem so slow? damn, are we there yet?_

“jiwoo,” she hears sooyoung softly call her and she panics, pressing call on jungeun’s number. the girl, thankfully, picks up on the second ring.

“what the he—“

“hey jungie! what’s up?” jiwoo greets in a pitchy voice.

“what do you mean what’s up? you called me,” 

“yeah, we’re close i think...?” jiwoo ignores jungeun’s remark and looks out to see the familiar road on the way to their shared apartment complex. they’re already in gwanak-gu where their apartments are located, just a bus ride away from the university.

“uhh, okay? i didn’t ask—“

“am i hungry? uhh... no, i don’t think so.”

“huh?” jiwoo can hear the confusion in jungeun’s voice as she quips whatever it is she can think about. “whatever, i’m hanging up. you’re weird,”

“okay! bye jungie, say hi to jinsol unnie for me.” 

jiwoo shuts her eyes tightly as the forgotten heavy atmosphere engulfs her yet again. she subconsciously takes a quick glance at sooyoung and sees the older touching her lips, fighting back a smile.

_does she... yep, she definitely knows kim jiwoo, you dummy._

she feels her ears heating up and she can only thank the darkness of the night for helping her conceal the redness coating the entirety of her face.

sooyoung is not dumb. she’s absolutely aware how uneasy jiwoo feels right now so she tries not to make her any more uncomfortable. but what can she do when the younger is this adorable looking while walking on eggshells.

sooyoung feels jiwoo looking at her so she meets her eyes only for the girl to quickly retract her head back down. she lets a chuckle escape as she maneuvers the car to the right.

“w-why are you laughing,” jiwoo says in a small voice, different from her usual boisterous, cheerful one.

“nothing. do you wanna grab some food?”

“stop laughing at me,” 

sooyoung lets another chuckle escape before covering her mouth and questions herself on why is it so hard to suppress a laugh. she clears her throat to get ahold of herself, “what do you want to eat?”

“i’m not hungry. just... take me home,” jiwoo states with finality.

“you mean my apartment?” sooyoung teases some more while jiwoo’s eyes widen and her head snaps to look at the older.

“what-?! no! my apartment!” 

and that is the final straw for sooyoung to erupt into fits of laughter. her loud voice filling the enclosed space of the car. jiwoo, on the other hand, feels her face heating up even more so she chooses to just stare outside the dark street adorned with few people walking by. literally, if she could just jump out of this vehicle, she will.

_and she still has the audacity to tease me after kis... after what she did!_ jiwoo pouts.

“okay, i’ll stop. i’m sorry,” sooyoung decides that the girl already has enough of her teasing. oh well, she can just do it some other day.

jiwoo sat in silence for the remainder of the car ride. it took around six more minutes before they reached her apartment.

“hey,”

“uhh... i gotta go. uhm, thanks for today.” blatantly ignoring sooyoung, jiwoo gathers her things in hurry before taking her seat-belt off and hastily opens the car door, stepping out. “drive safely, yeah?”

“wait, you—“ 

jiwoo speed walks into the main entrance and goes straight to the elevator. not a second later, the lift opens and she presses on her floor number. the silence inside the elevator has jiwoo releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding all this time. her mind travels back to the eventful happenings just an hour earlier but before she gets deeper in her thoughts, the lift dings and opens yet again. she looks up to make sure she is on the right floor before trudging forward across the empty hallway.

after unlocking the door, jiwoo enters her shared apartment with jungeun and slumps herself on the couch, paying no mind to her roommate and jinsol.

“hey, jiwoo... had fun with your sooyoungie?” jinsol, who is seated on the carpeted floor, asks good-naturedly, popping some chips into her mouth while jungeun furrows her brows at the sight of her roommate looking all problematic and stressed out. she obviously knows jiwoo like the back of her hand so she guesses that something may have happened with sooyoung.

before jiwoo can answer jinsol’s question, the doorbell rings that has the roommates confused, “are we expecting any guest?”

jungeun shrugs at jiwoo’s question, “i don’t know. sol?”

“oh i forgot to tell you. it’s my guest,” jinsol snickers before getting up, walking into the short hallway to open the door for her ‘guest’. “hey, hasoo!”

jiwoo, in her lethargic stance, suddenly perks up at the mention of the older before looking at jungeun with panicky eyes.

“why are you looking at me like that?” 

“jungie!” jiwoo whisper shouts but didn’t have the chance to say more as two silhouettes transform into familiar figures of their friends.

sooyoung enters the apartment. the familiar coat of white and wood accentuating the walls greets her as yellow, dim lights give the whole room a homey vibe. reaching the living area, she sees jiwoo sitting on the far end of the sofa while jungeun is on a one seater, munching on some snack.

“hey jungeun,” sooyoung greets as she makes her way to the sofa, leaving an adequate space between her and jiwoo.

jungeun greets her back and they fell into a light conversation about nothing in particular. it may not seem like it but sooyoung is really attentive of the girl beside her. she hears small puffs of breath from her side and she also notices jiwoo fiddling with her fingers, something she learns the girl does when nervous. she’s witnessed it a couple times — whenever jiwoo has an upcoming exam on one of her dreaded major subjects, before submitting her portfolio in the photography club, and when she had a competition in taekwondo to name a few. and usually, such nervous mannerism comes with jiwoo ranting about how she feels at the moment but given the circumstances, jiwoo decides to keep her mouth shut.

sooyoung inches a few towards jiwoo without slipping away from the conversation. she does the usual gesture which she believes helps jiwoo relax a bit. sooyoung reaches over taking both of jiwoo’s hands, trapping it within the warmth of her own. she feels how cold the younger’s hands are, stiff from the shock of sooyoung’s actions. 

jungeun excuses herself to fetch some drinks for them while jinsol seem to be busy reading something in her phone. sooyoung scoots closer and faces the girl. jiwoo tries to pull her hands away from her grasp but sooyoung doesn’t let her. they spent a few seconds with jiwoo trying to free her hands while sooyoung tries to hold on before the latter sighs and eventually lets go much to jiwoo’s surprise.

she knows how stubborn sooyoung can be when she wants to.

“you didn’t hug me goodbye,” sooyoung looks so serious that jiwoo feels quite frightened. goodbye hugs have already been a tradition between them so not receiving any is odd for her. jiwoo knows how important the gesture is because she, herself, has thrown a tantrum during the time sooyoung was the one who didn’t give her one.

“oh, ah... sorry, i was in a hurry,” 

“i see,” sooyoung nods her head, still looking somber, “you don’t want to be in my presence that much?”

“no! please don’t think that. i-i’m sorry it’s just that...” jiwoo groans when she finds difficulty in expressing herself verbally. she’s not usually like this. she’s a woman who speaks her mind without difficulties but tonight just doesn’t work that way. “after... we, you know,”

“after we what? i don’t know,” 

sooyoung thinks jiwoo looks so amusingly adorable trying to explain herself without actually saying it directly. jiwoo pouts and rolls her eyes when she realizes that sooyoung is just teasing her and not actually mad. 

sooyoung stares and marvels at how jiwoo looks tonight. the warm light from the lamp placed beside the couch illuminates her features perfectly, from her brown eyes, down to her cute little nose, and to her heart-shaped lips. the sight of jiwoo in front of her is an image of comfort and home to sooyoung. 

“ohh? did kim jiwoo just roll her eyes at me?” sooyoung dramatically expresses, clutching her heart for added effect.

“annoying,” 

unknown to the two, jinsol has been watching the exchange between them. she also notices the somewhat unusual atmosphere going on.

“did something happen?” she speaks her thoughts gaining the attention of jiwoo and sooyoung, snapping them out of their little bubble.

jungeun walks back with more snacks and drinks and throws the two a curious gaze but both chose to keep their mum.

jiwoo opts to go back to her phone while sooyoung quietly reaches over for some snacks with a knowing smile on her face making eye contact with her best friend, and jinsol’s eyes widen in understanding. sooyoung signals jinsol to not say anything before pointing at jiwoo as if telling her to not make jiwoo even more embarrassed than she already is.

“i’m heading to bed,” jiwoo announces as she walks to her room without sparing any of the three a glance. “night.”

—

_7:41_

as jiwoo lays on her bed clad in her pajamas, her mind can’t help but wander into today’s events. the drive with sooyoung, her showing jiwoo her secret spot, the view, the back hug, and most especially the kiss they shared.

jiwoo flails around the soft mattress, grabbing a pillow to cover her face. she feels her own cheeks blushing just from the memory of the kiss. 

_sooyoung. sooyoung. sooyoung._

that’s all her mind can think of as of the moment. nothing more, not even her grumbling stomach from hunger. it was tiring to say the least. she hears a soft knock on her door before jungeun’s head appears between the tiny space calling her for dinner. jiwoo thinks its best to leave the comforts of her bed and join jungeun in the dining in hopes of taking sooyoung out of her head.

scrutinizingly, jungeun fixes her eyes on jiwoo. the girl still looks worn out that she can’t focus on the food in front of her, “i can hear you thinking,”

jiwoo jumps a little before looking at her then shaking her head, “i... i don’t want to think about her right now. i’ll tell you the details later, maybe.”

“you better. or i’m squeezing information from jinsol.”

just then, jiwoo’s phone dings and both girls look at it to see a message. she grabs it to unlock and saw that it came from sooyoung.

_**‘hey, just got home. i texted to say that i had fun with you today. good night, wooming.’** _

jiwoo groans before putting her phone down a bit too drastically, “i said i don’t want to think about her yet, ugh!” 

that night, jiwoo got no sleep. jungeun too. she decided that details about jiwoo’s day is much more important than her strict bedtime schedule. fuck feeling sleepy at 10 pm. good thing though, the next day is a saturday which means no classes for both of them.

they spent hours talking, eventually forgetting the time.

—

jinsol stares across the room to see sooyoung with her dumb grin that has been present ever-since they left jiwoo’s and jungeun’s. the girl seems to be so engrossed in her thoughts, her body comfortably laying on the couch as she stares at the plain ceiling.

“hey soo? mind sparing some details?” jinsol queries. she’s been meaning to ask the moment she saw sooyoung’s knowing grin. she needs the girl to feed her curiosity right this instant.

“details?” sooyoung lets her mind go over the course of her day. she starts telling her roommate about bringing jiwoo to her spot to which jinsol jokingly sulks about sooyoung not bringing her there but the latter shrugged her off and continued her story time. 

the way sooyoung discloses her story, it was so dreamy, and jinsol can’t help but notice how genuinely happy her best friend looks as she talks about jiwoo. 

“and then you fucker decided to text jiwoo and completely ruin the moment,” sooyoung feels herself getting agitated again at the memory. she throws daggers at jinsol, cursing the girl with her eyes. she reaches for the nearest object, lucky for jinsol it’s just a throw pillow, and flings it towards her perfectly aiming at her face.

“woah! easy there, chill. i’m sorry, okay?” jinsol raises both her arms in surrender, “damn, if i was you i’d be mad too, to be honest.”

“that’s fine,” sooyoung looks down on her hands with a faint, shy smile, “still managed to kiss her,”

it’s not like sooyoung to look this timid. she’s even gone as far as blushing when she told her about the kiss with a small voice.

“come on now, why are you suddenly shy? it’s not like jiwoo’s your first kiss or anything,” 

jinsol’s words piqued sooyoung’s interest as realization dawns upon her. just like what jinsol said, she’s never like this. she’s the confident type when it comes to girls. hesitation is never a thing for her when it comes to getting a girl’s number. sooyoung is a person who perfectly knows what to say at a given situation, when to crack jokes, and when to smoothly insinuate a date.

charm is one of sooyoung’s greatest assets and she has mastered the art of utilizing her charm to her advantage. but strangely, said charms don’t seem to work well on jiwoo. 

maybe because to sooyoung... jiwoo is not just anyone. 

_she is different._ jiwoo isn’t just one of those girls she dates for the fun of it all. no, she’s so much more than that. jiwoo is too important of a person in her life to be just a playtime for her. she’s this cute, adorable girl who broke into sooyoung’s intimidating exterior and built a camp inside her heart going as far as packing an adequate amount of supplies to last her forever. 

sooyoung’s heart that only has a room for one and jiwoo decides to just take it. 

sooyoung doesn’t regret letting the girl in one bit. if anything, she wants to thank the heavens for letting her cross paths with an angel named jiwoo. now, she can’t imagine living a life without her. her life has never been the same since — once dull and insipid, jiwoo has slowly spluttered vibrant colors at every nook and cranny.

jiwoo. _her crush_.

in all honesty, sooyoung feels dumb to call it a crush. it’s not like she’s 17 or something. for goodness’ sake, she’s a 23 year old grown woman fully capable of fending for herself but that’s exactly what she thinks it is, or what it is initially. she can still vividly remember the way she felt like a teenager whenever jiwoo was around long before jinsol introduced them to each other. she would catch herself taking furtive glances at this certain freshman talking to jungeun animatedly and she would smile. 

like an idiot, she would grin to herself at the same time the girl’s face rose to a big smile.

contagion. that’s what it is. her happiness, it was so contagious that just getting a glimpse of the girl has sooyoung’s sour mood turning the opposite way. she was also extremely nervous when jinsol finally introduced them. her nerves acting up in a way they’ve never done before. apparently, jinsol has been keeping a close look on her and her lovesick eyes as she stares at jiwoo. so being the best wing woman that she is, she arranged a lunch with the help of jungeun for the four of them. at first, sooyoung tries to bail out which is so not like her but jinsol managed to pull her along. what surprised jinsol is the way sooyoung doesn’t seem her usual self when they were conversing. heck, she was even stuttering and it took too much of jinsol’s inner strength and a couple of secret pinches from sooyoung to stop herself from cackling.

not sooyoung’s best but as their relationship progress though, she has been more comfortable with talking to jiwoo and this change in behavior simultaneously happens with the change of her feelings for the girl. she noticed that the more they’ve gone closer, the more she finds everything about her fascinating and her feelings evolve into so much more — deeper, stronger, and fiercer. as if someone gassed up the tiny flame that is her feelings resulting to a larger flame that consumed her whole being.

jiwoo is slowly consuming her entirety. 

“earth to sooyoung?” jinsol snaps her fingers to try and gain her attention. sooyoung looks at her then as if only realizing that she’s been spacing out for the past minutes. “damn, you’re whipped, soo.”

“i am?”

“duh?” jinsol clicks her tongue at her dumb friend, “you’re painfully obvious whenever with her. so painful that i can’t bear to watch you shoot hearts to jiwoo with your eyes. it’s actually much more surprising that you two aren’t dating yet,”

sooyoung releases a heavy sigh. she slumps more onto the couch, lifting her feet to rest them on the coffee table, “i don’t know,”

“you don’t know?”

jinsol repeats and sooyoung only nods. she’s clueless. she doesn’t know how to deal with this information about her feelings. adding to that, there are too many things to consider — their friendship, jiwoo’s feelings, her feelings.

“wow,” jinsol dramatically covers her mouth in astonishment, “ha sooyoung is having a problem with a girl? come on, where’s that fuck girl i’ve known all of high school?”

sooyoung scoffs at what jinsol just called her. she believes hat it may be a bit of an exaggeration to give her that title. sure, girls throw themselves at her but it’s not like she dates every single one of them. she has an image to protect and doing such deed would only tarnish it. 

“it’s not my fault i’m attractive,”

jinsol makes a gagging sound before taking a seat beside her, “that’s the sooyoung i know. just going for the girl without much thoughts. why the sudden hesitation?”

“that’s the thing, sol. jiwoo is someone i can’t just go for without much thoughts. she deserves more than that just a halfhearted affection. you get me?”

silence prevails inside the apartment. jinsol knows sooyoung has so much to say so she keeps her mouth shut.

“jiwoo...” the way sooyoung mentions the girl’s name, it sounded so wistful to jinsol. she enunciates jiwoo’s name with so much affection and warmth. 

_with so much love._

jinsol learns that sooyoung still hasn’t come into terms with her own feelings. she still doesn’t realize the depth of it. she, too, doesn’t know just how deep the girl feels for the younger but she’s sure it’s _deep_ deep.

too deep that the pacific ocean would seem to only reach their ankles when they frolic across it.

“...she’s too pure and perfect. i don’t even know if i deserve an angel like her. she’s way out of my league, sol. she needs someone just as perfect as her and i don’t think i’m a right fit for it.”

too many emotions passed sooyoung’s eyes — admiration, affection, hesitation, yearning. but what stayed in her longing orbs is insecurity and it hurts jinsol’s heart to see her best friend this way. she believes that sooyoung, too, deserves the best. to jinsol, sooyoung is one of the kindest and most caring person. masked by her jokes and snarky remarks are genuine affections for those dear to her.

“sooyoung-ah, i perfectly get what you're saying. but please don’t think of yourself that low. you deserve just as much as what you think jiwoo does and i think that’s what makes you two a good match.” 

sooyoung thinks for a second, “you think?”

jinsol puts her arm on sooyoung’s shoulders, pulling her closer, “i know.”

sooyoung closes her eyes, absorbing everything in. is she really deserving of kim jiwoo? should she take chances? but what if it ruins what they currently have? will she be able to recover losing someone so important?

_ugh... this is making my head hurt._

sooyoung feels jinsol shifting beside her before the girl stands and announces that she needs to get back to her ongoing gundam construction. jinsol halts in her step just before she exits the living room, uttering words that further boggles sooyoung's mind yet somehow clears away some entangled thoughts.

“remember, soo. we always regret the chances that we didn’t take and as your best friend, i don’t want that for you. i want you to be happy.”

_i want to be happy too._

that night, sooyoung’s mind is occupied by one person only to the point where even her dream is about her.

about jiwoo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everybody deserves a best friend like jung jinsol :>  
> spare your thoughts below?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> commence sooyoung's strawberry addiction

  
sooyoung has never been in her element than being in a spacious room with humongous mirrors covering the walls. she stares at herself with eyes full of passion and determination to execute every step accurately and precisely. the crew moves in perfect synchronization as the music booming across the four corners of the room reaches its peak, adrenaline running through their veins. 

being one of the seniors, sooyoung is tasked to observe the whole group for errors or discrepancies in the choreography, so they can fix it as soon as possible. she’s observed a couple members messing the steps up a few times but it’s probably because it’s just a newly choreographed routine. with practice, sooyoung knows they’re going to execute it perfectly and free from errors. she makes a mental note to remind them to practice harder.

the music fades out while they get into their last formation and after a few more beats the song stops. some collapsed on the ground groaning, some has their hands resting on their knees panting heavily, while some opt to go for their water bottles, jugging down its whole content. sooyoung makes her way to the benches and takes a seat beside her gym bag, reaching for her own flask to take a swig. 

“unnie,” heejin plops beside her looking sweaty and exhausted, “give me some of your water. i forgot mine and lisa unnie won’t give me any more of hers.”

sooyoung looks at her in disbelief, “out of all the things you could forget, you forgot your water. really, jeon heejin?”

sooyoung shakes her head but still reached inside her bag for her extra bottle, handing it to the girl.

“i was cramming my assignment for the class before our practice, that’s why.”

their short break comes to an end and their choreographer gathered them in the middle for a few words before finally announcing the end of the session. sooyoung slings her bag on her shoulders before saying her goodbyes to her club members.

“hey soo, heejin, ” lisa, one of the crew’s members calls for her. they are of the same age and are pretty close so they agreed to drop honorifics and formalities, “seulgi unnie wanted to know if you guys wanted to come for a quick drink?”

heejin abruptly says no saying how she still has a class to attend to in an hour while sooyoung ponders for a moment but remembers a scheduled hangout with her friends. “maybe next time. i have to meet someone tonight.”

lisa smirks at her, looking smug. “ohh? date night with your cutie? kim jiwoo, is it?” 

_haha i wish._

“shut up.” sooyoung chooses to laugh it off, lightly pushing lisa by her shoulder. 

“fine. but next time you better join,” lisa waves and scampers to her bag, away from the two.

sooyoung and heejin makes their way out the dance studio and into their locker room to shower and freshen up. shortly after sooyoung steps out and heejin follows looking much more pleasant than how she looks earlier.

“unnie, i’m gonna head off first. don’t wanna be late for my last class.” heejin taps her shoulder before exiting the locker room. 

**_‘you there already?’_** sooyoung sends jinsol a text. they all agreed to hang out at hyejoo’s and just spend the night chilling — maybe even play some games. 

**_‘yep. go straight here if you’re done,,’_ **

sooyoung tucks her phone inside her pocket and she plugs her airpods in, preparing herself for a 20 minute walk to hyejoo’s house. the girl is the only one in their friend group who doesn’t dorm, having lived all her life within the area. consequently, her place has been a regular venue for hangouts and sleepovers. thankfully, her parents are more than welcoming even preparing a variety of food for them to snack on.

the sun is still shining brightly but it isn’t too hot on the skin. just enough to bask in the warmth it provides. sooyoung opted not to bring her car to school today as she is not in the mood to drive so she took the bus instead. so now, she has to walk the distance to hyejoo’s.

it isn’t much of a nuisance though. sooyoung thinks she needed this time alone to think. it has been a week since her ‘talk’ with jinsol. one week since her moment with jiwoo and she noticed that the younger has felt elusive. she doesn’t sit as much with them during vacant periods, and when she does, the girl doesn’t even look her way and seemed too preoccupied with the others. but jungeun assured her that it was just a busy week for jiwoo.

they would still text from time to time but her replies felt too short and before the conversation even gets deeper, jiwoo would already bid her goodbye saying she has a requirement to finish. during those days, sooyoung did nothing but to sulk and she can’t deny that it hurts her to witness jiwoo slowly slip away from her. giving the girl a space, sooyoung stops herself from sending her messages that would probably only receive a dry reply or worse, none at all, not even a _‘read’_. clearly, jiwoo is trying to avoid her and she’s doing a very good job.

but not tonight. she heard from jinsol that jiwoo and jungeun are also coming to hyejoo’s so sooyoung makes it her mission to finally talk to the girl before this day ends. 

sooyoung reaches for her pocket when she feels her phone vibrate, probably from a notification. she sees jinsol mentioning her in their groupchat.

jindori : hag sooyoung, if you’re taking this long better bring us some snacks,,

hasoo : i’m walking, dummy. didn’t bring my car remember ? be there in 15 and no i’m not bringing snacks,,

jungie : be there in 20,, just wating for jiwoo

heekie : damn, wish i could be there if not for this damned class ;-;

aeongie : aeong

hasoo : get off your phone and listen to your prof

gamjawoo : otwww,, just buying snacks hehe

the sight of jiwoo’s name has sooyoung feeling nervous all of a sudden but she tries to ignore the jitters. after what happened just a week ago, sooyoung became hyperaware of everything jiwoo-related. she shakes her head and continues walking finally reaching hyejoo’s neighborhood. she has no problem navigating the place having been there more often than not.

jindori : jiwoo best girl unlike some hag out there >:(

hasoo : we’re the same age, what does that make you then? i’m near bye

although having mentioned that she wouldn’t bring any snacks, she still makes her way in a bakery to fetch some. she knows it’s just plain disrespectful to come empty-handed. sooyoung fills her tray with random pastries. carefully picking between the variety of desserts, one particular slice of cake catches her attention — a strawberry shortcake. a faint smile rises to her lips when a particular someone enters her mind.

strawberries. _jiwoo_.

it has to be jiwoo. everyone knows that anything strawberry-related is jiwoo’s. from ice cream flavors, cakes, and smoothies. the girl just loves the fruit. 

_and the flavor of her lip balm..._

the voice inside sooyoung’s head reminds her making her blush. she probably looks silly from an outside perspective, blushing all by herself in front of a shelf full of baked goods. setting her thoughts aside, she places the cake on the tray and trudges to the counter to check out and pay.

sooyoung reaches the son residence in no time, the bakery being just a 5 minute walk. she steps on the foyer and sees a few pairs of shoes most probably owned by her friends. she rings the doorbell and waits for a short while but no one’s opening the door for her. she remembers about hyejoo’s parents not being home today so that must be the reason why. usually, the girl’s parents welcome her but given the circumstance, her friends are still probably trying to get whoever gives in first to open up for her.

_idiots._

she goes straight to their groupchat to send a message saying if no one opens up she’s just going to leave. it seemed to have worked because not a second later, she hears footsteps descending from the upper floor and jinsol’s silly face shows up behind the door.

“you guys took too long,” sooyoung complains while she removes her shoes before entering the premises. they make their way up the stairs and straight to hyejoo’s room on the left wing.

“hyejoo suggested to have you wait for lippie and jiwoo so we don’t have to keep on going down,” 

“unbelievable,”

hyejoo’s spacious room greets sooyoung and on the floor are the host and a blonde — park chaewon. 

park chaewon is jinsol’s cousin and hyejoo’s classmate. sooyoung has known the girl for years now because of jinsol and she treats her like her own little sister. 

“park chaewon, son hyejoo, what’s up?” sooyoung greets and places the bag of food on the table.

“the sky?” chaewon quips while hyejoo snickers. the girl, being quite sassy, might be one of the reasons why hyejoo and her clicked. “kidding. it’s been so long, unnie.”

it truly has been quite a while since they’ve met up. their individual schedules proving to be a hindrance. sooyoung takes a seat beside jinsol on the bed, opening a bag of chips.

“i’m surprised you didn’t arrive with jiwoo unnie,” hyejoo suddenly speaks up. 

that caught sooyoung off-guard. she looks beside her to see jinsol chuckling to herself, not wanting to be a part of the ongoing conversation. “uhh yeah, she has a class and i had dance with heejin. she’s with lippie though,”

and as if on cue, the doorbell rings and it lasted longer than necessary. such deed is to be expected of either jiwoo or jungeun because strangely, the two seem to find the doorbell fascinating as they always play with it. the four looked at each other but no one dares to get up.

“last one who arrived opens the door,” hyejoo, having the authority of her own home, says so sooyoung had no choice but to sigh and descend.

she even heard jinsol whisper _‘good luck’_ when she passed by her. her best friend is aware of the current state of her relationship with jiwoo and that includes the younger’s ‘alleged’ avoidance of sooyoung.

the doorbell is still ringing nonstop even when sooyoung shouted for them to wait. she turns the knob and on the other side are jiwoo and jungeun pushing each other off while trying to remove their own shoes. too quirky.

“oh sooyoung unnie,” jungeun greets first but she receives an accusatory glare from sooyoung, “what? glare at jiwoo not me. she was the one playing with the doorbell.”

she turns to jiwoo to see the girl looking down and not denying so she must really be the culprit. sooyoung realizes it’s been a whole week since jiwoo has been this close to her as the latter finds a way to always sit farthest from her. the bitterness claws inside her yet again but along with it is relief to finally be in jiwoo’s presence even though no words might most likely be uttered.

on a normal day, she would have already started to playfully scold the girl but due to their awkwardness, sooyoung decided against it and just opened the door wider for them to enter.

“they’re in hyejoo’s room,” 

“okay,” jungeun makes a run for it, not wanting to be stuck between the growing tension. 

“uhh...” jiwoo drawls because she doesn’t know how to start a conversation with the older. “h-hey, sooyoung unnie...”

_unnie?_ sooyoung raises a brow which jiwoo fails to see as she looks straight ahead. 

“hey, jiwoo. go follow jungeun, i’ll close the door.” sooyoung monotonously says, her voice serious and cold. 

jiwoo bites her bottom lip out of nervousness while she stares at sooyoung’s back. the older has never used such tone with her and she can’t help but blame herself. sooyoung must have noticed her trying to avoid the girl and now it backfired on her in the form of receiving her cold shoulder.

_stupid jiwoo._

sooyoung turns around after securing the lock on the door and is surprised to see jiwoo looking at her with those adorable eyes of hers. she raises her eyebrows inquisitively but jiwoo just shakes her head. the look on sooyoung’s face though has not gone unnoticed by jiwoo’s eyes. her face may look passive on the surface but jiwoo sees how the girl’s eyes travel down to her lips for a fleeting second before she stares up to meet her gaze. jiwoo chews on her lower lip when she feels her pulse picks up its pace from the undeniable tension enveloping them. the spacious living room suddenly feeling too tight for the two of them.

sooyoung is the one to break the silence. “let’s go. they must be waiting,”

sooyoung walks past her but jiwoo grabs at her wrist to stop her from taking another step. the sudden skin to skin contact after what felt like forever has jiwoo feeling even more sorry.

she truly missed sooyoung no matter how much she tries not to think about her.

“sooyoung unnie,”

unknown to jiwoo, sooyoung, too, is making a big deal out of the mere contact of their hands. she, too, can’t help but think about how she missed her jiwooming, how boring her days were without the girl’s bright presence. “yes?”

“i... are you mad at me?” 

“what?”

sooyoung faces her, surprised by two things — jiwoo’s straightforward question, and how quick she feels her negativity about the situation dissipates just with the look on jiwoo’s face.

“you’re mad at me, aren’t you? i’m... sorry. i just-“ 

jiwoo stops her monologue when she feels a hand patting her head gingerly. she looks up to see sooyoung with her tightlipped smile, stroking her bangs. 

“i’m not mad,” _i can never be mad at you._

it may seem too dramatic but jiwoo feels her eyes stinging a little from the sight of sooyoung in front of her. the girl is too understanding for her own good and jiwoo can’t help but feel bad for practically ignoring her. 

“let’s go? they must be wondering what’s taking us so long,” sooyoung changes the topic, thinking it’s not the best time and place for them to talk.

jiwoo nods but tightens her hold on sooyoung’s wrist making the latter look at her once more, “can we... can we talk later? in private?”

sooyoung smiles to herself and she carefully slides her arms up until her hands meets jiwoo’s hand. she gives it a tender squeeze before pulling the girl with her, “let’s do that, jiwoo-ah...”

their hands stay clasped. but like having an unspoken understanding of their dynamics, both let go just before they enter the room. as if a silent agreement to keep whatever it is they have to themselves for now. 

—

jungeun’s loud screeching echoes around the room when she was thrown into space — virtually at least.

“i fucking told you i wasn’t the impostor!” 

they chose to play the infamous game today and it has been going on for hours. everybody looks to be enjoying ‘among us’ to the fullest. they created a room exclusively for their friend group only which has proven to be much more fun than playing with weird strangers. heejin even insisted to join although being in the middle of a lecture. 

“stop being sus then!” another loud voice booms. jiwoo’s. 

“i wasn’t being sus?” jungeun dramatically throws her phone on the couch, refusing to complete her tasks but it didn’t take long before hyejoo scolds her.

“unnie, do your tasks or we won’t win.”

the game goes on for twenty more minutes with jinsol, heejin, and sooyoung turning to ghosts. already having finished her tasks, jinsol spots the unattended bag of pastries and her stomach grumbles. she rummages through it, finding something that would fit her taste.

“screw this game,” sooyoung sighs and turns her attention to jinsol, only to see her struggling to open the container of the slice of strawberry cake sooyoung bought for herself. “jung jinsol!”

bewildered, everybody’s eyes train on sooyoung wondering why the sudden shouting but she pays them no mind as she makes her way to snatch her cake. jinsol even almost dropped the cake.

“this is mine,”

“holy crap, soo. you scared me. you could’ve just told me without shouting.”

“you won’t give it,”

“i thought it was up for grabs. you’re not even fond of strawberries?”

“i am now,”

“sooyoung unnie sus,” jungeun quips and jinsol chuckles, starting to munch on a bread filled with custard cream.

sooyoung, on the other hand, quietly goes back to her place opening the packaging of her beloved cake. it looks so scrumptious, to say the least. the slice of cake has a bunch of glistening strawberries on top and the icing looks to be done with so much artistry with its swirls mirroring experience. taking a bite, the taste of fresh strawberries explode in her mouth. sooyoung groans from the eruption of flavors in her taste buds as every component of the delicacy plays its role.

she catches jiwoo looking over at her, catching the delicious and familiar smell of the cake. sooyoung knows too well how much she loves sweets so without much thinking, she moved to her side to offer some.

“you need to taste this,”

“is it good?”

still focused on the game, jiwoo looks to see sooyoung eating one of her favorites. the older nods, scooping a portion of the cake and brings it near jiwoo’s mouth and the latter gladly accepts it. a few bites in and jiwoo is already squealing at how good it tastes.

“i told you. let’s share,” sooyoung laughs at her reaction before feeding her some more. 

_she loves to share, huh?_ jiwoo purses her lips to shake off her thoughts.

taking turns from feeding herself and jiwoo, sooyoung notices how jiwoo can’t let go of her device and when she looks at her screen, she catches her venting. feeling betrayed, she throws the girl an accusatory glare. they had different in-game names so it was difficult to identify who’s who.

“you’re the imp-“

“shh!”

“you killed me, kim jiwoo? i can’t believe you,” sooyoung playfully sulks in her seat, jutting her lower lip out a little. jiwoo giggles and told her not to take it personally as it is the purpose of the game.

the awkwardness between them, although still present, is already manageable.

the game ended with hyejoo finding out who the impostor was resulting to a whining jiwoo, her loud voice ringing in their eardrums.

and sooyoung, with her hands on her ears to muffle the noise, strangely finds herself smiling at jiwoo’s cuteness.

—

after hours of games and banters, the group decided to order in some refreshments. they all went for their usual orders except for sooyoung. she insisted on a strawberry smoothie instead of her usual iced americano.

knowing sooyoung’s taste in food, jinsol is honestly baffled and finds it extremely odd so she voices out her curiosity.

“since when are you into strawberries? are you craving or something?”

“last week? i don’t know.” 

“huh? that’s weird. but you’re always weird so... whatever,”

jiwoo hears the conversation between the best friends on the other side of the couch as she sits beside jungeun. the mere mention of strawberries has her feeling the heat creep up her face, reminding her of a certain incident.

_i didn’t know strawberries taste this good_

she absentmindedly shakes her head to rid herself of such thoughts. feeling the commotion, jungeun checks on her but she abruptly denies. she flickers her eyes towards sooyoung to see her animatedly talking to jinsol. her eyes then find their way to the younger ones still busy on their gaming consoles. hyejoo has her head on chaewon’s lap while both fiddle on their nintendo switch. she called for them and tells them to visit her island so she can give them some of her peaches. hyejoo snickers before exposing her ulterior motive of gaining some apples from the two in the process.

“hey!” jiwoo laughs loudly when hyejoo sees through her suggestion, “i just wanna give you guys some of my fruits because you’re my babies!”

jiwoo pouts, feigning a look of hurt.

“unnie, you’re only older than us by a year or two,”

“that’s besides the point,” 

jiwoo feels a tap on her shoulder from jungeun before a whisper near her ear, “sooyoung unnie keeps staring at you,”

“huh?” 

as a reflex, jiwoo finds herself meeting a pair of familiar eyes and when she holds the eye contact, jiwoo finds herself swooning. the softness on sooyoung’s eyes is too visible and jiwoo feels as if her heart is being caressed just as gently — that same gentleness that is directed towards her.

the older breaks the eye contact first, not wanting to get caught staring (which she already is), and she can’t help but let a small smile adorn her face.

“shut up jungie,”

jiwoo is feeling giddy inside. what was that? she doesn’t know yet she can affirm that she indeed likes it. sooyoung’s shy smile evokes an emotion inside her that is unfamiliar yet familiar and she can’t help but seek more of it.

“it’s the sexual tension i’m talking about,” jungeun pokes her sides to annoy her even further and jiwoo rolls her eyes. 

_here she goes again,_

it takes a whole lot of threatening with the use of her taekwondo skills before jungeun stopped.

“you both cool with each other again?”

“uhh i guess? we’ll talk later,” jiwoo confesses. now that she thinks about it, she can’t help but feel the anxiety kicking back in. she is honestly intimidated with how sooyoung was when she opened the door for them earlier and although they had quite a banter over the game just a few minutes back, jiwoo knows that the atmosphere will be different once it’s just them alone. the awkwardness between them would surely resurface before they can even strike a conversation. and if there is one thing jiwoo isn’t used to, it’s being awkward to people. especially to sooyoung. 

jiwoo is a social butterfly. she has never hesitated to approach anyone, always offering an amicable smile.

“oh my gosh!” jungeun grabs jiwoo’s arm, making a fuss in her seat. with a much quieter voice she says, “you’re gonna kiss again?”

jiwoo immediately covers her mouth, afraid that someone may overhear jungeun’s controversial words. glaring, she flicks her best friend on the forehead. 

and that commences another fight between them with no one wanting to backdown. jiwoo may seem annoyed but she can’t help but be thankful for the distractions jungeun provided her with.

at the very least, it took her mind off of the imminent ‘confrontation’ with sooyoung later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: the talk ;))
> 
> it's my finals week but i will try my best to sneak in some work for this fic,, please leave a piece of your thought below


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s chapter 4, the talk,, :>

kim jiwoo is a nervous wreck.

anyone who would see her right now can immediately figure out how jittery she feels from the constant biting of her own lower lip to tightly grasping her handkerchief with her now clammy hands. jiwoo is a person who wears her heart on her sleeve and sooyoung can attest to that. she noticed how expressive the girl is and how she just can’t mask her genuine emotions.

from how her face stretches into her signature wide smile when ecstatic, to how her eyes shine as excitement rises within her, every expression is an obvious hint of how she feels. and right now, the little frown on her forehead while eyes are filled with uncertainty is a giveaway to her current state, emotion-wise.

sooyoung understands how jiwoo feels because she, too, can’t deny the fact that she is also perturbed. the difference? sooyoung is an expert at hiding her own feelings. all over the years, she has learned how to sport certain expressions for her convenience. dancing has somehow contributed to this aspect of her as it requires a skill in the said facet. specific emotions need not only be reflected in the choreography but also with your body language and facial expressions.

sooyoung and jiwoo are opposites. that is undebatable. but the difference between them has not been a hindrance for them to grow closer. rather, it proved to be a good complement of the other’s personality. their differences served a good balance in their relationship.

_8:04_

sooyoung sighs as she plays with jinsol’s car keys. her best friend allowed her to borrow her car so she doesn’t need to think about the last bus ride as well as taking jiwoo home. jinsol insists that she should just focus on the matter at hand. jungeun agrees and even offered jinsol a ride home which evoked a smile on the latter, winking at sooyoung in secret.

both continue walking in silence until they reached the park near hyejoo’s house. the park in this area, especially at this time of the night, is never crowded and they mutually agreed that it will provide a good privacy for them. stepping into the grass, jiwoo opts to sit on a swing while sooyoung remains standing in front, leaning against the slide railings a few meters away from the younger, just enough breather for the both of them. quiet chatters from a few people in the distance fill their ears.

sooyoung is the first to speak up. truly, she does not know how to start the conversation. does she ask jiwoo straightaway why? ask her reasons for ignoring her? for the dry replies that faded into nothingness? how she must have felt? does she regret it? too many questions yet to be answered. too many curiosities to be satisfied but sooyoung opted to ask the most trivial one.

“how have you been?”

_how has jiwoo been._

because honestly, it is something that has boggled sooyoung for the whole week. she really just wants to know coming from jiwoo herself. because strangely, the most trivial question is also the most important question for sooyoung. 

fuck her questions, jiwoo doesn’t need to give her answers. she just needs to be doing fine for sooyoung to feel just as fine. 

jiwoo first. jiwoo only.

“good,” like an automated machine, jiwoo also answers with a familiar template. good? does she really feel good? why are questions like ‘how have you been’ or ‘how are you’ always answered with ‘fine’ or ‘good’ even though the person is not. even though she feels the opposite, actually. it’s as if every worry she has just automatically translates to the word ‘good’. 

jiwoo realizes it’s because people try not to talk about it. to not talk about how shitty their day really is. and that is exactly what she is doing right now,

evading the question; just like how she evaded sooyoung. 

shutting any form of vulnerabilities that may slip past her mouth; the same way she shut sooyoung out.

but jiwoo also realizes why they are in this park, in the first place. to talk. to compromise. to open her emotions for the girl to see and hopefully understand.

to be vulnerable.

yet ironically, jiwoo is doing the opposite.

“good.” sooyoung smiles to herself as she takes interest with playing with the stones by her feet, grasping the soft fabric of her sweater as the chilly air blows. “i’m glad. i’m sorry i wasn’t able to check up on you the past week. didn’t really have the chance to,”

jiwoo’s heart hurts a little (a lot) when she heard sooyoung utter those words. she’s sorry? for being unable to ask about how she feels? she’s sorry yet it’s not even her fault why she can’t. she’s sorry yet jiwoo thinks she should be the one saying that phrase.

_why does she need to be like this? why is she so selfless? stop._

“stop.” jiwoo scrunches her brows at sooyoung, mustering up the courage to look at her straight in the eye. sooyoung looks up from her feet to see the perplexity in jiwoo’s eyes.

“stop?”

“yeah stop. why are you apologizing? i’m the one at fault so i should be sorry. stop being so selfless. it’s okay if you’re mad at me,” jiwoo takes in a sharp breath after, feeling her emotions riling her up.

sooyoung only chuckles after a moment of surprise, “i told you, right? i’m not mad,”

“sooyoung...” jiwoo grasps the metal chains of the swing to somehow get ahold of herself. this is too much for her heart. the guilt, sooyoung’s words, her own emotions... “i’m really sorry,”

“i understand,”

“no please, hear me out?” jiwoo begs with her eyes and sooyoung can’t do anything but nod, “please stop apologizing. i’m sorry if i shut you off just like that. i feel really guilty and i take full account for what i did. it’s not my intention to just discard our friendship like that, unnie. really, i’m sorry.”

friendship. that’s what this is. a friendship. _nothing more._

sooyoung feels the bitterness coat her mouth. she tries to swallow to remove the taste but it just went straight down to her chest. but doing what she does best, she cracks a small smile. 

“it’s all good, jiwoo-ah. if anything, i think i should be the one apologizing for stepping out of bounds. you must be feeling regretful and i can only say sorry although i know it's not enough to make up for what i did.”

“wha-“

“it never crossed my mind that you tried to discard our... friendship like you said. i just hope i didn’t ruin it for us?”

jiwoo shakes her head no and sooyoung smiles bigger. her lips are upturned but jiwoo sees how her eyes are. and it’s contradictory of what she’s trying to show.

“thank god,” sooyoung laughs but jiwoo knows better, “then can we please go back to how we were before. i missed my jiwooming,”

sooyoung’s playfulness is concerning jiwoo. her demeanor seem to be so light and bright but jiwoo can clearly see how sooyoung’s eyes are screaming their want to leave and isolate herself. it was a silent scream but jiwoo hears it loud and clear.

“yes,”

_that’s it_. sooyoung’s mind declares. it’s over for her and her feelings. unrequited. jiwoo’s affirmation just sealed the deal for her so now what she just needs to do is dig a grave to bury her heart in and eliminate any intention of raising its hopes up.

just when she has come into terms with herself. just when she has talked herself into trying and risking. 

“give me a hug,” 

sooyoung opens her arms wide to accommodate jiwoo. to hug her. to keep her close to her heart, where her tragic feelings reside. it sucks that jiwoo fails to go close enough to entertain those feelings.

the moment jiwoo is within an arm away, sooyoung takes her wrist and gently pulls her in. and the contact hurts. it strikes a nerve in her chest but why does it also feel good? why does having the girl this close still emanate a sense of belongingness? 

another set of questions but this time sooyoung can confidently provide answers.

it feels good because although she can never truly have jiwoo as hers, sooyoung is contented to just being able to keeping her close. hold her hands, hug her, be with her, even if it is nothing more than a platonic relationship.

maybe she is contented because truly, she never really wished for something more than an ounce of attention from jiwoo. or maybe because she really is not supposed to experience more. again it’s her fault for failing to see the signs and stop herself only for reality to slap her the truth.

she pulls jiwoo in but jiwoo stops her from doing so. sooyoung meets jiwoo’s eyes and the latter is looking at her with such scrutiny that she feels too transparent. she flickers her eyes to the side but the younger only holds her cheek to redirect it to hers. 

“your eyes...” jiwoo drawls, lightly caressing sooyoung’s cheekbone, “why are they sad?”

“what?”

“you’re smiling but your eyes... they don’t look happy, why?”

they say our eyes are the windows to our souls and sooyoung is a firm believer of that because she knows she is nothing but a lonely soul wanting something unachievable, and her eyes unfortunately reflected it.

sooyoung decides that if this is the last time she would entertain her feelings for jiwoo, might as well put it out in the open. that way, she’ll never have regrets trying to pull at her at back of her mind. if this will be the last time, she at least wants to feel free.

“because,” sooyoung sighs when she feels tears brimming her eyes, she holds jiwoo’s hand on her face while she stares at jiwoo’s own windows to her soul, “because they’re staring at someone they couldn’t have,”

her tears started streaming down her cheeks and she ducks her head to hide it from jiwoo. but jiwoo didn’t have to see to know because she felt it. 

sooyoung wipes her own tears before giving a hollow laugh, “sorry, jiwoo. i didn’t mean to... and i never even knew i felt this way until recently.”

the heaviness in her heart causes a constriction in her throat and she tries her best to swallow the lump and stop her tears but she just can't do so. it was too painful. emotional pain truly is the worst. it leaves you in a state of helplessness without any choice but to continue hurting until numbness.

the sight of sooyoung in front of jiwoo looking so weak and hurt is too heartbreaking that she just wants to envelop her in her arms. so she did. she wraps her arms around sooyoung’s waist and runs her hands across her back to hopefully make her feel better.

“sooyoungie...”

feeling drained of energy, sooyoung’s arms remained on her sides. she rests her head on jiwoo’s shoulder, inhaling the scent she never thought she missed until now.

“i missed that,”

“shh... please don’t cry,” 

quiet sniffles resonate around them as jiwoo holds her tighter, a few drops of tears escaping her own eyes. it never occurred to her that sooyoung even looked at her that way. yes, somewhere in her heart she has hoped for the older to want to be something more than just being friends, but she never really tried to lift her own expectations because she didn’t think it was possible.

and because jiwoo didn’t want to be hurt. everything is new for her and the idea of entering a relationship? it sounds too scary as she knows that in reality, it really is not only just rainbows and happy endings — it’s also storms and tragedies.

they stayed in the same position for a few minutes before jiwoo feels sooyoung slowly pulling away from her grasp. with her head still bowed down, she tries her best to fix her appearance, wiping away any tear stains although sooyoung knows how red and swollen her eyes are right now. 

_way to make a fool of yourself,_

“uhh...” sooyoung starts after a short while, her usual confidence nowhere to be found.

“sooyoung...” jiwoo softly calls, her hands still gripping at sooyoung’s sweater by her waist. 

“damn,” sooyoung laughs before looking up and the dark sky greets her. the night is devoid of any stars and she can’t help but think how it likens to her heart right now — plain black, hollow and empty. absent of the usual star-like sparks she usually feels.

jiwoo quietly observes as sooyoung continues to stare up, her tongue tied. and she hates it. she hates how she can’t even say anything to make the girl in front of her feel slightly better. but she has never been in a similar situation before, what can she do? what should she say? she’s afraid of worsening the situation so she chooses to keep her mouth shut for the mean time and wait.

“i’m sorry. just... i think we need to go home? it’s late.”

it’s not. it’s only a few minutes before nine and both knows such hour of the night is still early for them. 

“just... forget about this night, yeah? ahh...”

_forget?_ jiwoo furrows her brows at that. why would they forget tonight? and that is when she finds her voice.

“but-“

but sooyoung cuts her off.

“d-don’t worry about me. i promise to get over it. i just... i need time.” sooyoung purses her lips before offering jiwoo a kind, reassuring smile.

but jiwoo feels the least bit reassured. 

“wait-“

“i hope you don’t get uncomfortable with me though? but if you do, let me know, okay? so i can step back,”

“you know i won’t ever,” jiwoo says.

sooyoung smiles, nodding, “that's great. now, let’s get you home,”

sooyoung carefully removes jiwoo’s hands on her waist and turns around, making her way back to hyejoo’s house where jinsol’s car is parked, already dreading the minutes they need to spend in each other’s presence, walking back through the empty road.

“who told you i regret the kiss?”

sooyoung’s retreating figure stops when she hears those words, another wave of fresh tears wanting to just pour down, “jiwoo, can we please go?“

jiwoo walks to sooyoung and turns her by her shoulder so they are facing each other. sooyoung has confusion etched on her face and then it turns to weariness. “are you saying that because you feel bad about me? because if you are, please don’t. i told you, right? i’ll be okay. let’s just go,”

jiwoo has the softest heart. she easily empathizes with the others. too good that sooyoung thinks others might take advantage of it. so she made a promise to herself to protect jiwoo. but right now, jiwoo empathizing with her would not only cause pain to herself but to sooyoung too. so before it gets worse, sooyoung wants to cut it off.

“no, wait! let me talk. i already let you speak your mind earlier so please just lend me your ears for a few minutes,”

sooyoung shuts her mouth at once when she catches the unusual stern nuance in jiwoo’s voice. the girl is never stern so she must be dead serious.

taking a deep breath, she readies herself to spill, “like i said, i don’t regret it. i know it looked like i did because of my actions the past week but believe me sooyoungie... i didn’t and i still don’t.”

sooyoung feels the hollowness in heart gradually being filled with something unknown.

“please don’t think that.” jiwoo eyes are pleading, “but i do have my reasons for trying to ignore you...”

her eyes shut close from pure frustration. frustrations that has been bothersome for a week now, bottled up inside her.

“then may i ask why?” sooyoung whispers when jiwoo fails to continue, “why are you avoiding me? did i... did i make you uncomfortable?”

“no.” jiwoo opens her eyes and stares point blank at sooyoung’s, showing raw emotions “i’m afraid. everything is unfamiliar to me and i don’t have any idea how to deal with everything. i don’t know what that would mean for us. where do i stand?”

jiwoo’s revelation taps on sooyoung’s heart. now, she understands. they ended that night on a vague note, no explanations why she kissed her and how it would affect them both. sooyoung feels guilt creeping in from unintentionally giving jiwoo the wrong idea. maybe, jiwoo even thought it was just a simple nonchalant kiss for her. something that happens in the spur of the moment and nothing more after that.

“i wasn’t even sure if it even meant something to you, at least. because i sure know it means a lot for me,” jiwoo’s voice falters a bit at those last words, her self esteem depleting. 

“jiwoo,” sooyoung’s mood suddenly boosts up and she finds her confidence back, stepping closer to jiwoo and taking the latter’s hands on her own, “i just cried over you, in front of you. i think that already says a lot about my take on the kiss?”

sooyoung cried over her. it felt too surreal. the ever cool and composed ha sooyoung cried because she thought she stands no chance to jiwoo.

“unnie! i have no idea at that time, okay?” jiwoo exasperates, giving emphasis on her cluelessness. sooyoung chuckles at jiwoo’s adorable expression before situating the girl’s hands around her own waist.

“i know and i’m sorry,” she holds jiwoo’s tiny face, softly running her thumb on her cheeks, “forgive unnie, please?”

jiwoo nods in her hands and sooyoung pulls her in for another hug. she can’t help but exhale a huge breath when she feels the knots in her heart slowly untangle themselves.

_this night doesn’t seem so bad, afterall._

“but unnie...” 

“hmm?”

“what does this mean then?”

“whatever you want it to mean, jiwoo-ah,” sooyoung runs her hands on jiwoo’s soft locks, wallowing in the feeling of having the girl in her arms.

“b-but i... don’t know. i’m still processing everything and i’m confused. i mean... ugh! like i know what i feel but i can’t, you know, just put it out there... i want to be sure of myself before i blurt it out.”

jiwoo feels sooyoung caress her back soothingly — a gesture of reassurance that everything is going to be okay. that it’s alright if she feels confused at the moment. and that her feelings are valid and she understands her.

jiwoo’s eyes flutter low on the ground, leaning more into sooyoung’s shoulder, uncertainty laced in her voice. "...i just don’t really know," she looks up and sooyoung sees her eyes filled with the same uncertainty.

“it’s okay if you’re unsure,” 

“i’m not making sense, am i?”

“you are. you’re valid, wooming. your feelings are valid.”

sooyoung’s voice is a soft whisper — low and soothing. she wishes to hopefully uplift the younger and console her with her insecurities as she stares straight at jiwoo. “we don’t have to rush, jiwoo. you can take your time.”

jiwoo’s face contorts more at the statement, her brows almost meeting from furrowing too much, and her lips jutting out into a pout, “but that would be unfair to you! i don’t want you waiting — “

“shh... we’ll do this at your own pace. you don’t need to think about me, okay?”

and jiwoo did nothing but to gaze at sooyoung’s beautiful features. the certainty in her mesmerizing eyes knocking softly at jiwoo’s heart. and even though it’s hard, although she knows how questions will still continue to fill her mind, jiwoo chooses to trust sooyoung’s words and those orbs that communicate such steadfastness. 

jiwoo slowly nods her head affirmatively and she whispers an ‘okay’.

sooyoung lets out an audible sigh, happy that she has managed to comfort jiwoo. although not fully as she still sees a hint of frustration in her eyes so she leans forward to place feather-like kisses on her eyelids then to her forehead, this time a lingering one.

“just let me help you figure it out, will you let me?”

sooyoung feels jiwoo nod and that is enough for her. 

“at your own pace, baby. your own pace.”

and under the lamp post just by the sidewalk, two souls have come into a mutual understanding. the yellow light providing them an illumination in the darkness of the night the same way their once cloudy minds filled with doubts open up to a clearer, brighter one. their relentless heartbeats filling their ears in the quietness of the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chuuves is so alive these days uwu
> 
> thoughts on this chapter, please leave a comment below i want to hear from you guys teehee
> 
> p.s. stream why not and the whole album :))


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helo! just a disclaimer that things will get slightly heated on the later parts of this chapter *wink wink* 

sooyoung removes her eyes from her laptop when she hears soft knocks on the door. she saunters across her dorm to welcome the awaiting visitor.

“hey...” 

she opens the door to the cutest human being to ever exist on the planet — at least that’s what sooyoung describes jiwoo as.

“hi sooyoungie!” jiwoo chirps cheerfully, enclosing her in a chaste hug with one arm, her penguin plushie on the other.

sooyoung lets her enter first before closing the door and walking to the living area. jiwoo places her backpack on the couch, taking out all her school stuff including her _most_ essential items — stationeries and stickers.

today is another of their hangouts where they agree to study together. this usually happens every week, at the end of it. both thought it would be nice to finish their requirements or at least lessen their workload for the next week so they can enjoy the weekends worry-free. 

sooyoung makes her way back on the couch after grabbing some snacks and chips on the kitchen counter.

“you came straight from class?”

jiwoo hums, opening her laptop in the process. considering how meticulous she is with her notes, her agenda for today involves fixing and designing all her course notes. “brought my things with me to my class so i don’t have to go back,”

“even the plushie?” sooyoung points at her penguin plushie and jiwoo hugs her plushie to her chest while nodding. sooyoung chuckles at the adorable sight, reaching a hand to run it on the younger’s face and that earned her an even more adorable whine for messing jiwoo’s bangs.

“hey! that took me an hour to fix!”

they fell in a comfortable silence as each focuses on their tasks at hand, making the most out of their productive time together. outside the glass window, the sun is slowly coming down and the skyline is slowly turning to an orange hue from its white and blue appearance. on a friday, jinsol is usually home by this time but not today. the latter has informed sooyoung that she has lab which always takes a long time and then an org meeting after so she won’t be home until around eleven at night.

noting this change in her roommate’s schedule, sooyoung thought it would be a great time to ask jiwoo to hangout to which the latter quickly agreed to.

sooyoung feels her eye start to hurt from having been staring at her laptop long before jiwoo has even arrived so pressing save, she decides to rest for a few minutes. she shuts her eyes closed and massages her temple to relax for a bit. 

soft hums to a familiar tune fills the silent place prompting sooyoung to open her eyes. she sees the younger seated on the floor, scribbling seriously on her notebook placed on the coffee table with a variety of colored pens and design materials scattered, her back against the couch. she has the side of her face pressed against the plushie causing for her cheek to look even fluffier than it already is.

_so adorable._

the past month has been smooth sailing. with clearer intentions and feelings, sooyoung finds herself being more comfortable in expressing herself to the younger. doubts and hesitations that would always flock her mind seem to have diminished a great number after voicing out and properly communicating with jiwoo.

jiwoo feels sooyoung’s stare at the side of her face and looking up, she sees the older seeming to be in a deep thought before snapping out of it when their eyes meet. jiwoo raises her brows inquisitively and sooyoung just gives her a small smile, shaking her head no as she goes back to continue her unfinished essay.

unknown to sooyoung, jiwoo’s train of thoughts involves her. removing a sticker, the younger’s mind is filled with the past month’s happenings and how their relationship has progressed after that night.

jiwoo thought how sooyoung has been good to her. too good, actually. the girl is a natural sweetheart to those close to her but how she treats the younger is undeniably more special compared to how she is to their other friends. sooyoung is so attentive to everything jiwoo does but not to the point where she feels suffocated. one of her best qualities is she knows when to give jiwoo her alone time. but when she pampers her, expect to be spoiled. from the most cliché things such as giving her chocolates and flowers, her favorite snacks, walking her to her class, driving her home, and so much more. 

cliché? yes. but jiwoo finds herself liking all those gestures sooyoung has done and is continuing to do for her.

it’s sooyoung, after all.

lately, their dynamics has reached a higher level which isn’t gone unnoticed by their friends. they’re clingier than usual, more expressive, and so much more affectionate than how they were. the group would often tease them and get them to admit their current relationship status but both would just answer with vagueness like a shrug of a shoulder or a chuckle before diverting the topic from them.

they would always point out how they basically are girlfriends from the way they act and they would always feel so conscious under everyone’s scrutiny yet the can’t help but blush and feel giddy.

when it’s just the two of them, jiwoo notices how sooyoung is even more open with herself. and jiwoo can’t help her heart from swelling to know that sooyoung trusts her with her thoughts. sooyoung is the type to worry about things by herself so as not to burden other people and jiwoo feels honored to have somehow broken down the girl’s facade. not all the time though, because no matter how sooyoung tried there are just things that she would rather not talk about and jiwoo thinks it’s okay and that she’s more than happy with how they currently are.

sooyoung, too, is very clingy — especially behind closed doors. jiwoo notices how she would always play with her hands or caress her hair or hug her close. jiwoo is admittedly a clingy person but she tries to tone it down just a bit thinking that the other may find it annoying. to her surprise though, sooyoung has been initiating skinships almost as often as she does.

at times, jiwoo would tease her about her affectionate gestures but sooyoung would quickly shut her down, denying being called ‘clingy’ saying how she is too cool for that while literally having jiwoo engulfed in her arms. 

the contradiction between her words and actions is just too fascinating for jiwoo. therefore, she concludes that sooyoung is nothing more than a baby inside a grown woman’s body trying to look all tough but is really in need of someone's nurture.

an hour or so passed by like a blur with them being too engrossed in their own works. and now, jiwoo feels the said baby latching on her back, squeezing herself between her body and the couch. sooyoung finally finished her essay so she chooses to watch jiwoo do her requirements instead. it has always been riveting to watch the girl design her notes and she can’t help but admire her organization and cohesiveness.

taking a peek by jiwoo’s shoulder, she sees the younger plucking out a small heart sticker before reaching back and placing it on sooyoung’s cheek, chuckling when sooyoung puffs her cheeks out.

“is this a confession, kim jiwoo?”

“you wish,”

_oh i really do._

sooyoung laughs at jiwoo’s witty rebuttal before giving the younger a quick kiss on the cheek. “i’m starving...”

“want to order? i’m almost done.” jiwoo asks, writing the last of her lessons before closing her notebook. she proceeds to gather all her stuff and fix the slight mess she made on the table.

“hmm, how does tteokbokki sound?”

jiwoo’s ears perk up from the mention of her favorite food. her stomach grumbles as she looks back at sooyoung, “and chicken? sounds great!”

sooyoung laughs at the girl’s enthusiasm and detaches herself to go and make a call for delivery. 

having cleaned up, jiwoo plops down on the couch, sighing at how soft it feels against her body — only realizing how much her slouched form hurt her lower back. she makes a mental note to be more conscious of her posture next time.

placing her backpack by the table, she hears sooyoung call out her name while she covers the mouthpiece of her phone, standing beside the kitchen door. 

“do you want some kimchi dumplings?” 

“yes please!” 

sooyoung signals an okay sign before going back to the interrupted call, finalizing their orders. shortly after, she walks back to the living area to see jiwoo comfortably seated and typing away, probably updating jungeun regarding her whereabouts — best friend things.

“ahh! i’m tired,” she tackles the younger down the couch, settling on top of her.

jiwoo shrieks from the initial shock before laughter bubbles out from sooyoung’s playfulness, “unnie! you are heavy,”

“you love me,” effectively brushing off jiwoo’s remark, she moves about on top of her, trying to find the most comfortable position before laying her head by jiwoo’s neck. scoffing, jiwoo goes back to her phone, letting sooyoung do what she wants.

after sending jungeun one last message, she decides to open her tiktok app — one of her ways to kill time. sooyoung feels jiwoo reaching an arm up on her back, lethargically patting at the expanse. a sigh escapes her mouth when the action provides a relaxing feeling, her tiredness slowly seeping out of her body.

that moment is spent in a simple way. just the two of them settled on the sofa and talking about random things. sooyoung asks about her classes and even offered to help her with some of her requirements if the workload would tend to pile up. jiwoo kindly rejected her offer saying how everything is still manageable and that she shouldn’t lose focus on her own studies just to help the younger.

“how’s dance?” jiwoo then asks, remembering how the club sooyoung and heejin belong to is entering a "competition" — a university tradition of some sorts at a certain time of the year. 

“hmm?” sooyoung raises her head to see jiwoo’s eyes still trained on her phone so she settles back down, “great, actually. i’m in charge of choreography alongside other seniors like seulgi unnie and lisa, you remember them?”

“yup!” jiwoo affirms and then goes on squeezing her in a tight hug, “wow! i can’t wait to see cool sooyoungie again!”

“hey! i’m always cool?” she jokingly whines out.

“uhh sorry to break it to you but you are literally a giant baby,”

sooyoung laughs at that. no one has actually ever told her such thing so hearing it for the first time cracked her up. 

“i want a dog,” jiwoo randomly expresses, going out of topic.

“huh? suddenly?”

“look at them!” sooyoung situates herself in a way where she can catch a look of jiwoo’s phone. she sees little fluffballs playing around on the screen and that induced a smile on her own. they watched in silence, just cooing from time to time at the puppies’ cuteness as they wait for their food.

“so cute and fluffy, makes me want to take care of them,”

“just take care of me i can be cute too.” sooyoung quips before striking cute poses, using her clipped voice to spout random words that she knows she would regret later on. it was cringe-worthy but jiwoo seems to find it funny from the way she is laughing so hard. sooyoung smiles and thinks that doing those vomit-prompting aegyo is worth it.

“no thanks. you’re a handful,” jiwoo boops sooyoung’s nose before pinching her cheeks. this is the side of ha sooyoung that the girl rarely shows so she feels extremely ecstatic whenever sooyoung is being a little bit too playful for her own good. she knows how the girl would be beating herself up for her own ‘extremities’, as she would refer to it as, but jiwoo would always assure her that it is nothing but adorable.

“what?” sooyoung sits up, squinting her eyes at jiwoo, “you dare say i am a handful?”

“it’s ‘cause you are,” jiwoo sticks her tongue out, instigating her further. 

sooyoung frowns more before her visage slowly morphs into a smirk — almost devilish and jiwoo knows what’s coming for her.

jiwoo’s eyes widen when sooyoung slowly moves closer to her. “sooyoung... no.” 

“sooyoung, yes.” the older even mimicked her tone.

“don’t you... sooyoungie!” jiwoo shrieks when the older starts pressing on her sides. she should have escaped and run for her life when she saw that smirk adorn sooyoung’s face but then the latter has her trapped so she’s really meant to be doomed. jiwoo’s laugh fills the whole apartment as sooyoung continues to tickle her sides. “s-sto... AHH!”

“sorry, are you saying anything, jiwooming?” sooyoung laughs at the way jiwoo is struggling so hard beneath her, thrashing her own body, and chortling hysterically. she decides to let the girl catch her breath, stopping her movements.

jiwoo’s chest is heaving frantically from the torture she just experienced and she reaches to cup sooyoung’s hands on her own, “no more...”

however, sooyoung is acting as if she didn’t hear her words, raising her eyebrows innocently.

“sooyoung... enou- AHH!” thus, another round of tickling and thrashing commences. this time shorter than the first one as she decides to show the younger some mercy.

after sooyoung’s surge of energy, they both settle down back into their previous positions, both still breathing a little heavily from too much exertion. 

“no more, sooyoungie.” jiwoo fixes her bangs while she reminds her, scared that the girl would stubbornly attack her again. the latter only chuckles before nodding.

sooyoung feels jiwoo’s quick pulse on her neck. with her face pressed closely, sooyoung breathes in jiwoo’s endearing scent, filling her senses with a tingling sensation — too alluring that she finds herself tilting her head slightly, her face now just a fiber away from jiwoo’s neck.

“jiwoo...” the soft way she calls her name matches the tenderness of her breath on jiwoo’s skin — ticklish and ardent.

jiwoo is aware on how the mood around them shifted. the tension from their playfulness changed into something more serious and fervent. “hmm?”

“jiwoo...” jiwoo feels sooyoung’s heavy breathing just over her collarbone. she exactly knows what sooyoung’s tone meant and what she wants because that is exactly what she also wanted. so jiwoo decides to embrace the moment as she softly presses her hand against sooyoung’s hair, guiding her closer until a pair of lips is pressed on her neck.

she subconsciously grips at sooyoung’s hoodie, the feeling seeping into her senses. from the way sooyoung is taking her time in running her lips on her skin to the way she would press soft kisses at times; the delicate touches leave a trail of sparks on her skin.

sooyoung feels jiwoo softly threading her fingers into her hair, the pad of her fingers pressing softly each time sooyoung would shyly kiss her a little harder. “sooyoung...”

sooyoung hums in acknowledgement as she follows a path to jiwoo’s ears, giving it light kisses. and then to her cheeks before lifting her face up to stare at jiwoo’s half-lidded eyes. 

it is a sight to behold. she thinks jiwoo looks absolutely perfect that she can’t help but voice her thoughts out, “you’re beautiful,”

jiwoo fails to form an answer as she stares up at sooyoung whose eyes are tantalizingly gazing down while her lips are slightly parted. their own orbs serving as mirrors of each other’s, reflected with the same passion.

“i want strawberries,” sooyoung’s voice is much lower now. and her words, jiwoo is perfectly aware what that connotation means for the both of them. “may i?”

with subtleness, she nods her head. she catches a glimpse of sooyoung moving down before she can fully close her eyes and then she feels her lips on her own, unmoving. she realizes that this is sooyoung being gentle with her. she didn’t want to go further until it’s jiwoo doing it herself. 

this is sooyoung following jiwoo’s pace; just like what she promised.

asking for consent, the mere pressing of their lips together — it’s all about sooyoung helping jiwoo by letting her figure it out herself.

and at this moment, jiwoo only wants one thing so she slowly parts her lips and moves it against sooyoung’s. and sooyoung lets her. this time, she gave jiwoo full control of the situation, following the her lead. everything feels right to sooyoung, the softness of jiwoo’s lips, the hesitation in the way she moves, the taste that she has been longing for; every detail is nothing short of perfection.

jiwoo feels her own hands trembling from the sudden eruption of emotions inside her. she is already slowly losing herself when she feels sooyoung kissing her back just enough before removing her lips on hers — much to jiwoo’s disappointment. she opens her eyes with a frown and meets sooyoung’s tender ones,

“was that fine?” sooyoung carefully asks her, wanting to know jiwoo’s sentiments about the exchanged intimacy. 

“ _please_ , kiss me...”

sooyoung didn’t need to be told twice as their lips clash for the second time. her full lips lightly suck on jiwoo’s soft lips. she feels a soft moan escape jiwoo’s mouth and she can’t help but let out a guttural sound from the way it affected her.

jiwoo pulls her closer, draping her arms lazily on sooyoung’s shoulders and the latter takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. jiwoo kisses back with the same intensity much to sooyoung’s relief as her mind buzzes with excitement.

everything is a perfect harmony, just enough for neither to feel too overwhelmed. 

needing for breath, they both slowly separate with sooyoung giving her few more lingering kisses before fully letting her go. 

the separation of their lips, however, fails to break the tension between them as they silently study each other’s visage. sooyoung’s expression breaks into a small grin — happiness and contentment taking over her system. jiwoo follows suit, the look on sooyoung affecting her own mood as she bites her lower lip to keep it from smiling too wide.

jiwoo notices the older’s eyebrows upturned as if asking her ‘what?’ but she just shakes her head and pulls sooyoung closer for a hug. she needs to before the latter sees her struggling from keeping her giddiness in. 

and also just because she wants to.

soft knocks fill the quietness of the room. “i’ll go get it,”

sooyoung stands and runs her hand over her slightly disheveled hair — courtesy of kim jiwoo, and lightly trudges towards the door. 

once sooyoung is out of sight, jiwoo’s hands automatically flew to her face, everything sinking in all at once. she hears sooyoung thanking the person on the other side of the door so she abruptly sits up and fixes her hair, pulling down her top that she didn’t notice have slightly ridden up.

sooyoung places the bag full of their foods and jiwoo takes the initiative to grab a few utensils from the kitchen. preparing everything on the coffee table as they sit on the carpeted floor side by side, sooyoung turns the television on to search for an interesting show. jiwoo steals a glance at the older to see her lips slightly swollen from their kiss and the sight makes jiwoo’s cheeks flush, touching her own lips wondering if it looks similar. 

once settled, both girls started digging in. jiwoo forgot how famished she was until she took a whiff of her favorite food in front of her. 

“must be good from how messy you are eating,” sooyoung laughs, reaching forward for a napkin to wipe the smeared sauce beside jiwoo’s lips.

_such a kid._

“tteokbokki is never not good!” jiwoo speaks with a mouth full, her words slightly muffled yet already biting on a dumpling, nonetheless.

sooyoung can’t help but reflect on how much she is enjoying herself right now. everything is causing her an inexplicable amount of delight that she even feels her heart racing. 

it’s amazing how even simple moments like this can cause so much impact to one’s whole system when with the right person.

_right person..._

to sooyoung, jiwoo is that right person who makes everything a whole lot better that even the most mundane things shared with her is one for the books.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here goes soft chuuves as a thank you for reading my work and giving kudos and commenting <33
> 
> ALSO LOONA BILLBOARD 200 DEBUT YESS QUEENS
> 
> as usual, comments and thoughts are always welcome below :>>


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a longer chapter than usual sksksjsksk was too into it ig,, hope you all enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing this :>>

jiwoo skips over the hallway with lightness in her steps. she is on her way to the dance studio where sooyoung and her club occupies during their rehearsals. she sees a few familiar faces and being her usual self, she offers them a friendly smile.

as she nears the studio, muffled bass is bouncing off the wall before coming to a complete stop. jiwoo checks the time and figured that there are still a few minutes left to spare before the end of sooyoung’s activity.

“jiwoo? kim jiwoo?” hearing her name, jiwoo looks up and meets yet another familiar face.

“gyuri unnie!” she makes her way to the girl, hugging her chastely before beaming a wide smile. “how are you?”

“good! it’s been so long since i last saw you. wait, you have a class in this building? how come i only see you now?”

“oh, no. i’m just waiting for someone, i don’t really have a class here.” jiwoo explains.

jang gyuri. a third year student whom jiwoo met at one of the university’s campus wide fair. the girl is a part of the drama club and has approached jiwoo to coax her into trying and signing up. she was passing aimlessly outside this exact building trying to find where jungeun ran off to when a tall girl suddenly blocked her way. jiwoo even remembers finding her really pretty and friendly that their interaction didn’t feel awkward at all. she allowed gyuri to give her a brief overview about her club, not finding it in her heart to just wave her off. and although jiwoo has kindly rejected her offer, the girl only flashed her an understanding smile. 

they slipped into a casual conversation after until jiwoo has to leave but not before exchanging numbers with an intention to hang out when their schedules permit.

“well, i really would want to stay and talk to you some more if i’m not running late for my next class,”

jiwoo shakes her head when gyuri smiles at her apologetically, “i don’t want to hold you up, unnie. it’s nice seeing you again!” 

“you too! but we really need to hang out soon!” gyuri waves one last time until jiwoo loses sight of her in the crowd of people making beelines to their respective classrooms.

it has been months since their last encounter — that being from the fair. they have exchanged a few messages but failed in setting a meet up because of how their individual schedules just does not work.

the studio door abruptly opens making jiwoo step back from the initial shock. she sees a girl laughing with her arms around another girl. both of them look her way and acknowledgement settles in their eyes.

jiwoo, too, is familiar with both girls so she bows at them politely. she’s met sooyoung’s colleagues a few times enough to get them more than acquainted with each other.

“kim jiwoo? hey!” lisa, the one laughing (and responsible for the flying door) greets her with a cheerful voice.

“hello, lisa sunbae, byulyi sunbae!” she also greets the girl beside lisa.

“are you waiting for some- oh! you must be here for sooyoung,” 

jiwoo gives a shy nod when she notices the teasing glint in the eyes of sooyoung’s friends. lisa shouts for sooyoung’s name and the girl is out within seconds, her face slightly frowning.

“damn, lisa you’re so loud! what is it?” sooyoung, clad in a long sleeve crop top and loose sweatpants, has her eyes on her duffel bag, zipping it up. she didn’t notice jiwoo’s presence.

“your girlfriend is here,” lisa says and that prompted sooyoung to look up in confusion. girlfriend? she doesn’t remember having one. yet, her face brightens from recognition when she spots jiwoo.

“hey, why didn’t you text me? did you wait for long?” sooyoung makes her way towards jiwoo, pulling her in for a quick hug.

blushing from what lisa just regarded her as and being under their stares, jiwoo somehow managed to ignore them, grinning up at sooyoung, “i just got here like a few minutes ago, it’s fine,”

sooyoung reaches an arm over jiwoo’s shoulder as she nods her head to her friends, waving at them goodbye.

“bye, girlfriends!” lisa teases one last time, wheezing when sooyoung flips her off. 

they walk out of the building together with sooyoung’s arm still on her shoulders as they engage on a conversation, their proximity, although already a norm for them, still renders a blush on jiwoo's cheeks. jiwoo realizes that the giddiness doesn't really waver, she just learns how to ignore the feeling _temporarily._

jiwoo asks where heejin was and sooyoung says that the younger still has a class, explaining that the it’s mostly the seniors present, the same people responsible for the group’s choreography.

“lisa sunbae’s hair looks cool especially the blonde parts. it suits her perfectly,”

“well, don’t tell her that. it’s gonna feed her ego real bad,” 

jiwoo chuckles. lalisa manoban, a third year student majoring in multimedia arts is one of sooyoung's prominent friends. the last time she has seen lisa, the girl has her hair running down past her shoulder, pure black in color but now it’s cut short. jiwoo thinks that the change is a great choice as it gave lisa more character especially now that competitions are close. now that jiwoo came to think about it, maybe it really is for the competition. she voices her question to sooyoung and the latter only confirms her guess. she explains how lisa likes to always alter her hairstyle every time they have major performances.

“are you changing yours?” jiwoo then queries. 

“i don’t actually know. what do you think? should i dye my hair or...” sooyoung asks back, wanting to get jiwoo’s opinion for the matter. she’s undecided and she doesn't want to mindlessly change things up so it would be better to get other people’s take on this.

jiwoo pouts, thinking hard about what to say, weighing the options in full seriousness, “...i think you’ll look good whatever you decide to do,” 

the genuineness in jiwoo’s smile and words renders sooyoung fluttery inside. she lightly pinches jiwoo’s nose with her own smile present on her face, snickering at the not so helpful answer of jiwoo, “that did not help me decide at all but thanks for the compliment, baby,”

there it is again. that endearment. it’s been a month since sooyoung has started calling her sweet names but hearing it now still has jiwoo reduced into shyness mixed with the struggle from swooning — as if she isn’t already always swooning.

in sooyoung’s defense, she tries her best to stop herself from calling jiwoo names but it somehow comes out off her mouth naturally to the point where she sometimes doesn’t notice it anymore only to find jiwoo’s ears red while she tries her best to act normal. she would smugly smirk at her, repeating her words to tease her some more and that would earn her a smack on her arm, and an even more reddened jiwoo.

afraid that she may have made jiwoo uncomfortable, she talked to her about the matter. jiwoo smiles at her reassuringly, telling her it’s fine and that she actually likes the ring to it. a blushing sooyoung is rare but not too rare for her to be unaffected by jiwoo’s words and sweet smile. and in that moment, the roles have been reversed as jiwoo pokes fun at her.

sooyoung tries her best keep it on a low when they are in public or with their friends though because she knows how extremely irritating their friends are when they want to be and sooyoung does not want to be on the receiving end of their banters. but slips of the tongue also happen quite frequently as time passes and this is directly proportional to the frequency of their teasing, much to sooyoung’s annoyance.

especially jinsol. the girl would even goes as far as reenacting and mimicking sooyoung’s actions to anyone beside her — discomfort visible on that person’s demeanor, pushing jinsol off. 

however, it does not end there. unlucky for sooyoung (and lucky for jinsol), they share one apartment. this means that the teasing continues in the premises of their home as jinsol would call her ‘baby’ or other forms of call signs in the cheesiest way she can muster.

it takes a whole lot of threatening before sooyoung can make her stop, _“another word and your secret’s out to jungeun,”_

this usually does the trick but not for long. this, sooyoung has managed to accept.

lately, sooyoung has also noticed how touchy she is to jiwoo — something that she would never be aware of until jinsol pointed it out to her one night. and reflecting back, she can confirm that she has actually been clingier than how she was before.

she would hold jiwoo’s hands a little more, hug her a little more, just like how she is currently playing with the girl’s hand on her lap.

they are seated in a booth on a much more secluded part of the cafe located in the heart of hongdae. there are fewer customers than usual as it is a dead hour so the noise is just enough to not be too distracting.

“will i be able to finish my requirements, or my requirements are gonna end me first? that is the question,” jungeun dramatically says, typing away at her laptop for a paper due this midnight. “i feel like a zombie these past few days, god help me,”

“with those bags under your eyes, you are more like a zombie than zombies themselves,” jinsol gibes, laughing at jungeun. she gives her a death glare and jinsol just covers her mouth animatedly, taunting jungeun more.

jiwoo, on the other hand, is in a conversation with hyunjin about wanting to get a dog as her pet while hyunjin naturally tries to tell jiwoo to get a cat instead.

“unnie! cats are better, just get a cat i swear. here i’ll show you some vids,” she takes her phone out and the two girls enter a world full of cats created by hyunjin herself.

“what? how are they so cute! gosh, look at their tiny paws..." jiwoo exclaims. "now you’re making me confused!”

“see? i told you cats are better,”

jiwoo stares at her frappuccino in agony, vexed on which animal is cuter. 

“uhh kim jiwoo, may i remind you that pets are not allowed in our apartment,” jungeun informs the girl in a dilemma but jiwoo pays her no mind as she grasps sooyoung’s hand tighter, getting her attention.

“hey sooyoungie, would it be better to get a cat or a dog?” sooyoung takes her eyes off of their intertwined hands to stare at jiwoo. she sees genuine confusion in her eyes.

sooyoung snickers, answering, “i prefer dogs-“

“uhm hi... excuse me?” a soft voice on their right says. the unfamiliar tone of the voice catches all of their attention. judging from the atmosphere, it seems that no one is familiar with this girl. the only giveaway is the lanyard hanging on her neck which tells them that she is also a student in the same university.

“uhh hi...?” heejin entertains the girl, being the one nearest. the said girl gives a shy smile before looking directly at sooyoung. 

“i uhm... i just wanted to wish sooyoung sunbae good luck for the competition,” the straightforwardness in the girl’s voice yields everyone speechless. “here, i baked you cookies...”

jiwoo furrows her eyebrows at that. _cookies? she baked sooyoung cookies for a good luck, huh?_ she can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy hit her heart as she takes in the girl’s appearance. now, she is aware how much of a head turner sooyoung is but someone directly approaching her is something jiwoo has not experienced before and experiencing it now, it is not a good feeling at all. _and why does the girl have to be pretty?_

contrary to her usual sweet self, there is this small voice in her head goading her to subtly raise their clasped hands in hopes for the girl to get the idea that sooyoung is, in fact, unavailable. but the problem is sooyoung is not; she is very much available and free to date whoever she wants to. they aren’t exclusive after all and this adds more fuel to the fire that is jiwoo’s jealousy.

the girl hands sooyoung a small box of what is said to be baked cookies and she reluctantly accepts it, unsure how to act around curious eyes on her, “uhh yeah... thanks!”

the girl didn’t stay for long, much to jiwoo’s relief, although that does nothing to calm the green eyed monster inside her. biting the insides of her cheeks, she releases her hold on sooyoung’s hand and grabs her drink, taking a sip to help calm her nerves.

sooyoung shifts to jiwoo from the sudden loss of contact. jiwoo’s side profile meets her gaze while she silently fiddles with hyunjin’s phone.

“woah! fuckgirl sooyoung strikes again,” jinsol quips laughing heartily, throwing rolled tissues at her. sooyoung only clicks her tongue at her friend’s annoying actions.

“shut up,” sooyoung just wants to drop the topic but her friends are too invested in what just happened.

“wait unnie, do you know her?” heejin asks next and she shakes her head no before taking back jiwoo’s hand, her thumb tracing random figures against the skin.

“but she’s pretty, i must say. what do you think?” jinsol carries on with the topic, oblivious of sooyoung’s disinterest. sooyoung chuckles when she caught a glimpse of jungeun scowling before hiding her emotions. “oh, so you agree?”

jinsol must have mistaken her reaction to jungeun as an agreement to her question, wiggling her brows suggestively at sooyoung who quickly rectifies the situation, “what?! no. i think she’s okay,”

“damn, as someone part of the dance, i feel offended that she only gave unnie cookies when i’m literally right here.”

“hey,” jiwoo hears sooyoung softly call her but she pretends to appear too engrossed on the phone. she tries her best to mask her jealousy by diving back into her conversation with hyunjin, effectively ignoring the ongoing topic between the three. she feels sooyoung squeezing her hand, something the girl does when she’s asking for her attention but still feeling irritated, jiwoo pays her no heed, faking inattentiveness.

surprised from jiwoo’s actions, she turns to jinsol who is silently laughing after seeing the awkward exchange between the two. she mouths the word ‘jealous’ to sooyoung before laughing some more. sooyoung then turns to a smirking jungeun as she shakes her head, and that is enough for sooyoung to realize that she may be in trouble.

“just okay? but i thought that the girl definitely fits your type?” 

one thing about the dynamics of jinsol and sooyoung’s friendship is that the one’s ruin is another’s happiness and jinsol is making full use of the situation to further dig sooyoung’s grave.

she gives jinsol a look that is may be verbally translated as ‘what the fuck are you saying?’, disagreeing to her statement. “then you are mistaken. she’s not my type,” 

“oh really? what’s your type then?” the question has hyunjin focusing back on their talk so jiwoo has no choice but to listen in. getting more annoyed every passing second. _can't they just drop the topic? ughhh..._

“hmm... i like cute girls,” sooyoung stifles a smile, catching up with jinsol's playfulness. another aspect of their dynamics is that they prove to be a good wingwoman of each other's, knowing when to egg the other on into shooting her shot.

jinsol looks to be having so much fun with how everything is going from the way she is leaned forward, “uhuh... go on,”

seeing the look on jinsol’s eyes, her lips stretches to a wider smirk, "... definitely girls with big smiles, sunshine-like personality... quite the jealous type, ”

jiwoo isn’t born yesterday. she is clearly aware who sooyoung is pertaining to judging from the gaze she feels on the side of her face but she gives zero reaction because didn’t want to assume. yet her mind is in a turmoil as she rationalizes to herself that they are both pretty committed to each other, label or not, so the only right person sooyoung is describing must be her.

_right?_

the last part though has made it past the protective barrier of indifference she put up as she switches to her defensive mode, staring at sooyoung with harshness.

“what...?” sooyoung questions with too much innocence that jiwoo knows is fake. she knows how cunning sooyoung can be when she wants to.

“just to be clear, i am not jealous,” she whispers so only sooyoung can hear (everyone heard her).

“yeah sure!” the shit eating grin on sooyoung’s face further irritates jiwoo, rolling her eyes at the older and throws her hand away from her grasp.

“so annoying,” 

the stifled laughter finally escapes her mouth, burying her head on jiwoo’s shoulder while the latter tries to shake her off. she softly tries to soothe jiwoo in between her laughs, “i’m just kidding, baby. damn, you’re cute when you’re jealous,”

“i said i’m not!”

—

jiwoo mumbles a small ‘thank you’ after sooyoung takes the plastic bag from her hands. stepping out of the convenience store, the cool air slowly penetrates through her knitted sweater but not too much to make her shiver. 

“want to just walk to your apartment?” sooyoung suggests. earlier, jiwoo asked her if they could stop by the store because she had to get a few essentials of hers to which sooyoung agreed. the store is just a few minute walk away from her apartment. 

jiwoo hums in agreement, turning the corner towards the direction of her home. she was supposed to go home with jungeun from the cafe they were previously at but the latter had a sudden errand to attend to so sooyoung offered her a ride. and although she is still a tad bit annoyed, the girl is insistent enough to make her agree.

they are walking in silence — something sooyoung isn’t used to. jiwoo is the type to start a conversation as well as to keep it going so she figured that the girl must still be in her foul mood. passing the plastic bag to her other hand, her left slowly reaches for jiwoo’s right, choosing not to completely encase it with hers, checking to see if jiwoo is fine with her actions.

such intimate gesture is not something new to them but if jiwoo is still mad so sooyoung wants to make sure that she is not stepping past the boundaries.

jiwoo feels a light touch ghosting her hand and she immediately knows it’s sooyoung wanting her to decide if she would accept the gesture. she turns to see her with her cute hopeful eyes and jiwoo playfully rolls her eyes before she fills the gaps of sooyoung’s hands with hers.

like opposite poles on a magnet, they both automatically gravitate towards each other.

“that’s the second time you rolled your eyes at me, do you hate me that much?” sooyoung questions in fake somber. 

“that i do,” jiwoo decides to play along, receiving a whine from sooyoung, bumping her humorously. “what? you asked and i just gave you an answer,”

“okay smartass,” sooyoung sulks before chuckling at her own actions. since when is she this corny? 

oh right, since she has been smitten by this girl beside her.

“okay but seriously, let’s talk about it?” she stares at jiwoo’s side profile, seeing her shutting her eyes for a second and her lips slightly move, hesitating to speak.

with a hushed tone, jiwoo starts to ask, “the girl from earlier, you know her?”

they turn another corner. this part of the neighborhood is much more tranquil and secluded, a few lights open from the houses lining up the nearly empty street.

“no,”

jiwoo swallows, nodding before following her words up, “she’s pretty,”

sooyoung stares at jiwoo in perplexity, wondering why she is suddenly complimenting the girl. “huh? oh yeah, i guess she is...”

and then another question in a much quieter voice, “...you like her?”

“what?” sooyoung stops in her tracks from the suddenness. staring down at jiwoo who's staring down at her feet. she decides to make sure if her ears aren’t playing her, “come again?”

jiwoo slowly looks up at her, finally letting sooyoung discover her bare expression — one of worry and jealousy. “well, you think she’s pretty so you must like her, then...?”

jiwoo’s face is too raw and bare that sooyoung feels her chest swell. jiwoo being jealous must mean one thing and the thought makes her laugh, “i thought you’re not jealous?” 

“stop laughing! you are so annoying!” staring at sooyoung dead in the eye to get her irritation across, jiwoo can’t deny how adorable sooyoung looks in this state. with her eyes forming crescents, nose scrunching a tiny bit, and her bunny teeth fully visible from the wide smile stretched on her face; this sooyoung is probably one of jiwoo’s favorites. “also, i am not jealous, okay? i’m just want to know as... your friend,”

“friend, huh?” _well not for long, jiwoo_. she smugly adds in her mind. better keep it to herself first.

“you know you are free to date anyone. we are not exclusive after all,” jiwoo adds trying to sound nonchalant.

yet she just sounds nothing but jealous right now, and both of them are aware of that. truly, jiwoo getting jealous because some girl approached her makes her feel good. it gives her an assurance that maybe, they are almost on the same page; that just a few flicks of the leaf and they would finally meet on the same page number. maybe.

but seeing jiwoo looking so depleted of her usual cheerful aura right now, that good feeling is slowly overpowered by her want to see jiwoo smiling her big smile — the smile that resembles a heart.

sooyoung tugs at jiwoo’s hands, and they continue to walk — now quite slower as she takes a few moments to think. 

“but i am,” she earnestly speaks, her gaze in front, catching a sight of jiwoo’s apartment building.

“what?” jiwoo glances at sooyoung, waiting for her to further elaborate.

“although it made me feel good that you are jealous of that girl, i want you to know that you don’t have to feel that way...” sooyoung continues, grasping jiwoo’s hand a little tighter, “...i am exclusively reserved for you, i thought you’re already aware of that, jiwooming?”

there it is, again. sooyoung and her words. she has a way with her words that just immensely affects jiwoo; the earnestness in her tone filling the crevices of her heart. it’s too impactful that jiwoo loses her thought process.

the silence is present until they reach the building’s entrance and no words are further exchanged. sooyoung offers to walk her up to her floor but jiwoo insisted not to because she still needs to walk back to her car and it’s getting pretty late. 

sooyoung agrees and hands jiwoo the bag, pulling her in for a quick hug goodbye. with a final wave, jiwoo turns and enters the glass door. waiting for the lift, she looks back to see sooyoung still staring at her, hands in her jacket pocket. their eyes meet and sooyoung waves a hand before pointing towards the street, slowly walking away.

her mind reminds her of sooyoung’s words while she stares at her vague reflection on the elevator door and the feeling slowly creeps back in, making her heart thump faster than normal. and without thinking any further, jiwoo takes a step away from the lift, and another, until she is out of the building — walking with hurried steps until she sees sooyoung’s back, just a short distance from her.

“sooyoungie,” 

but the girl doesn’t seem to hear her so with a louder voice she calls her name, “ha sooyoung!”

one second, sooyoung stops from the mention of her full name, and then another second, a hand grips her wrist, turning her around, “jiwoo?”

and then another second later, her collar is being pulled down until her lips crash against jiwoo’s. the impact is so hard that her eyes widen like saucers. the kiss lasted for a few seconds and before sooyoung can assess the situation, it’s all gone.

jiwoo pulls away just enough to stare at sooyoung and the haziness in her eyes has sooyoung’s mind buzzing. her own eyes fleeting down jiwoo’s lips, watching it move as she starts to whisper.

“you know, that girl really got on my nerves earlier...” jiwoo drawls in a voice that sounded hoarse to sooyoung, she pulls the older closer by her collar, “...so i thought i’d remind you how much you like the taste of strawberries like you always say,”

jiwoo tiptoes and closes the gap between them for another kiss and sooyoung slowly drapes her arms around jiwoo’s waist, pulling her even closer to her body. she reaches up jiwoo’s jaw to find a better angle as she takes her bottom lip in between her lips, granting it with delicate sucks and nibbles.

jiwoo reaches a hand up sooyoung’s nape to take more of her in as she responds with the same intensity that she feels her knees slightly weakening, her grip on the collar tensing as she tries to establish a leverage. thankfully, sooyoung is holding her by her waist and the moment she feels jiwoo’s grasp on her jacket tighten as she starts to slowly slip, she pulls her up, flushing their bodies even more.

everything about the kiss is intoxicating, in the purest sense of the word, that sooyoung starts feeling lightheaded as they continue to move their lips in a smooth yet intense manner. the small sound coming out of jiwoo’s mouth from that specific little bite on her lower lip is feverish enough for her to feel her skin burning.

and this blaze inside sooyoung?

it makes her think how much she painfully wants jiwoo to constantly remind her what strawberries are like, metaphorically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAR MV ON THE 18TH ;-;
> 
> anyw, thoughts on this chapter?


	7. Chapter 7

jiwoo admires sooyoung, in its purest sense. jiwoo looks at her at such a high level of respect. she is amazed by her work ethic and dedication, and throughout the past weeks, she has seen how hard sooyoung has worked and practiced for the upcoming university event where her group is participating in. 

she works so hard. _too_ hard, for her own good. 

in those days where they both are free to meet, jiwoo would always notice how stressed and spent sooyoung is and her exhaustion is reflected on her physical appearance. she would ask and worry for her but sooyoung would just assure her that everything's well and that adding to the more frequent rehearsals, deadlines are just stressing her out more these days. yet she would say this with her eyes drooping which negates her consoling words, while jiwoo’s concern skyrockets.

“you’re saying everything’s fine but you can’t even keep your eyes open,” jiwoo points out, crossing her arms at sooyoung who’s leaning on her car, barely keeping herself up.

“i’m just a little sleepy but whatever... let’s just go, i promised to make it up to you, right?”

sooyoung did. she promised to free up her schedule, even for a few hours so she and jiwoo can spend some time together. jiwoo thinks it’s sweet, really. but she does not want sooyoung to tire herself more when she could be making full use of this time to rest.

“unnie... it’s not whatever. look at you! you look like you’re about to pass out any moment. did you even get enough sleep last night?” 

“are you scolding me right now?” sooyoung snickers at jiwoo’s knitted eyebrows but the younger's stance remains unchanging as she continues to give sooyoung glares, “uhh... i had to pull an all-nighter for a test this morning and then we had practice after,”

jiwoo’s face contorts even more,her expression a mirror of utter preposterousness at sooyoung’s current unhealthy way of running her life, “that’s ridiculou- wha- okay, that’s it...”

jiwoo holds her hand out in front while sooyoung is left confused. she reaches a hand, unsure, and holds it. jiwoo chuckles, finding her actions quite silly and cute. “your keys, dummy. i’ll drive you home,”

“oh,” sooyoung blushes in embarrassment, taking her own hand from jiwoo’s to reach for her keys, “here,”

she grabs sooyoung’s keys, pushing the girl slightly away from the door but is stopped by a hand.

“but wait! we agreed to go somewhere,”

“yes, but you need to rest so let’s postpone that, okay?” jiwoo patiently explains, removing sooyoung’s hand from the car, sliding herself in after. 

“but-“ 

but sooyoung’s words are stopped by a door slam.

—

the drive to sooyoung’s apartment from the university is relatively short but is enough for the girl on the shotgun seat to doze off. jiwoo parks the car and turns to see sooyoung fast asleep, contemplating whether or not to wake her up. but they couldn’t stay here for long and soon, sooyoung might be uncomfortable with how she is positioned so she decides to wake her up.

lightly tapping on her shoulders, she tries to stir sooyoung awake but the girl seem to be so deep in her sleep. “unnie... wake up,”

after a couple minutes of trying to shake sooyoung, she finally opens her eyes to a view of her apartment’s parking lot and jiwoo on the driver’s seat, “what? oh... i fell asleep i’m sorry,”

jiwoo gives her a sweet smile before lightly tapping her cheeks, “it’s fine. you can sleep more in your room, let’s go,”

jiwoo turns the engine off and waits for sooyoung to exit her car before they walk towards the elevator.

wearing the hood of her sweater, sooyoung slings an arm around jiwoo’s shoulder as the afternoon air feels more frigid than the past days. the drowsiness in her system is still present and she might need a support to keep herself up. “damn, i think i’m gonna pass out,”

jiwoo pulls sooyoung closer by her waist and keeps her arm placed across it, “and you still wanted to go somewhere else,”

“it’s ‘cause we’ve been together less and less the last weeks and- ...i miss you,” sooyoung confesses in her small voice, her sincere and gentle tone touching jiwoo's heart, leaving her slightly lost for words.

jiwoo keeps her mum, detaching herself momentarily to go and press on sooyoung’s apartment floor once they got inside the elevator. she walks back and places her hands on sooyoung’s cheeks, making the older gasp from its coldness, “cold, right?”

“hey!” 

jiwoo’s laughter fills the enclosed space. “i missed you too, sooyoungie,”

seconds later and the lift opens to a hallway, sooyoung takes her keys and unlocks her door, walking in on jinsol who’s seated on the floor with her gundam.

“hi jinsol unnie,” jiwoo greets the preoccupied older girl, “another gundam model? that’s so cool!”

jinsol looks up to see jiwoo and sooyoung by the hall, “hey! i thought you guys have a date?”

jiwoo blushes at the term but decides against fawning over it, “supposedly, yes. but this unnie looks too tired so i told her to just take a rest,”

jiwoo feels sooyoung clutching her sleeve, pulling her towards the direction of her room, whispering a sleepy “let’s go...” blatantly ignoring her best friend.

jinsol nods her head before her expression changes into something of disdain, “what? when i told her to rest she told me to fuck off. sensing favoritism here, sooyoung,” 

sooyoung trains her eyes to jinsol, scorning, pulls jiwoo deeper into the hall, and with a loud voice she says, “fuck off!”

“you are so mean!” jiwoo exclaims, laughing at the exchange between jinsol and sooyoung. she takes in sooyoung’s room and finds relief when she sees how neat it is. at least the girl is organized.

sooyoung plops on her bed after taking her shoes off, patting the space beside her while she stares at jiwoo, expectantly. “here...”

she takes a seat beside sooyoung, resting her back against the headboard, “actually, i don’t think you can rest properly if i’m here so i’m going,” 

sooyoung looks at her with an unamused expression. “it’s not even an hour since we met up. so... what do you want to do? we can watch a movie using my laptop? or?”

she starts to get off the bed to reach for her laptop on the table but jiwoo stops her, shaking her head in disapproval, “didn’t we agree on postponing so you can rest?”

“ehh. i slept a little in the car so i can just rest after a movie, it’s just a few hours anyway.”

sooyoung’s stubbornness is striking again and jiwoo can only sigh, opting to change her approach on the older.

“ha sooyoung,” the mention of her full name stops sooyoung from her movements, yet again. it’s rare for jiwoo to address her this way. jiwoo also looks stoic so it messes sooyoung up even more, “we already talked about this.”

“not even for a few hours?” sooyoung pouts, feeling genuinely sad of having to cut the day short. jiwoo’s expression softens at the sight, giving her a sympathetic look, “when are we going to hang out, then?”

after stubborn sooyoung comes adorable sooyoung and jiwoo thinks it’s too much for her heart to handle. sooyoung is taking her on a rollercoaster ride and the culprit is even unaware of what she does to jiwoo.

“when we both get a free and you’re not too drained, then we can.”

sooyoung sighs finding no response to give. so much for pushing her luck, jiwoo just won't let up.

“look... i know we’ve both been busy the past weeks and it’s been so long since we really got to properly spend some time together but you need to think about yourself first,”

sooyoung looks down, quite embarrassed at the fact that jiwoo is berating her.

“prioritize your health more than anything, okay?”

“okay.” sooyoung obediently answers with a small voice. she finds jiwoo quite intimidating when she displays her maturity, just like right now. she is a whole different girl than the usual sweet and bright jiwoo sooyoung is more accustomed to. “but...”

jiwoo flips to the other side of the coin that she rarely shows. sooyoung thinks about how she also likes this side of jiwoo, nonetheless. 

jiwoo gives her a pointed look and sooyoung raises her hands up in surrender, “i’m not protesting! i just want to ask if you could stay longer? i’m sleeping, i promise. just wait for me to doze off before you leave or something?”

jiwoo chuckles at her request, not finding it in her heart to reject sooyoung. the older cutely cheers before settling in her mattress, hugging jiwoo’s waist while the latter stays against the headboard. soft strokes against her hair helped her sleep faster.

“you are such a baby,” jiwoo whispers, quietly observing sooyoung’s peaceful side profile, her breathing starts to even out. they may have to cut the day short and postpone their date which is a bummer but jiwoo also realizes how a simple and short moment like this with sooyoung is enough to make up for lost time, if not more.

sooyoung stirs a little, “hmm... your baby?”

jiwoo chuckles. leave it to sooyoung to flirt half-asleep. she nods her head, finding herself agreeing at the question but the older fails to see it, finally entering dreamland.

“... my baby.”

—

the sun is still asleep by the time jiwoo opens her eyes. after a quickly skim over her notifications, she makes her way to her bathroom to freshen up before going out. the lights in the living room are on and the faint sound of the television is heard so jungeun must be awake. the girl is an early riser so it is not a shocker for jiwoo, really. she even goes to bed at ten pm so they always tease her for being a grandma.

jungeun asks her why she is up so early and jiwoo explains that she has to prepare a few things.

clad in sweatpants and an oversized shirt, she goes straight to the kitchen, now with jungeun trailing behind her.

“why didn’t you tell me you were grocery shopping yesterday? i could’ve gone with you,” jungeun looks at the grocery bags and wondered how jiwoo managed to carry all of those at once. her physical strength still surprises her sometimes. with her cute face and adorable voice, such strength is to be least expected to come out of her tiny body.

“it’s fine,” putting an apron on, jiwoo prepares all the necessary items for her task. she plans to prepare food for sooyoung whom she hasn’t seen for days now due to their busy schedules.

jungeun watches in silence as jiwoo starts to beat several eggs which she supposes are for omelettes. “i want mine with green onions,”

jiwoo stops her actions to stare at jungeun, “who said these are for you?”

“wah- hey!” her signature shriek fills the entire space of the kitchen, pointing an accusatory finger at jiwoo. “who are those for, then?”

“sooyoung unnie?” 

after making sure that sooyoung is knocked off cold, jiwoo decided to leave. but considering how talkative jinsol is, she was asked to stay and chat for a while. their conversation had gone from jinsol teaching her the basics of gundam construction to jiwoo’s habit of biting her friends — random but what do you really expect from this duo? 

and then their conversation diverted to the sleeping girl just a room away from them and jinsol mentioned how she noticed that sooyoung has been eating quite irregularly the past weeks.

jiwoo left with a promise to prepare lunch for sooyoung when her schedule finally clears up. and today marks the end of her misery as she has no deadlines for the next few days.

“are you throwing away our friendship?” dramatic as ever, jungeun continues.

“jungie, it’s just an omelette,” it's not that serious.

“then make me some!” jungeun shouts.

“fine, fine. you’re so loud!” jiwoo shouts back.

it’s most likely that they would be getting a noise complaint from being so loud at an ungodly hour.

once jungeun tires herself out from annoying jiwoo, the latter is finally alone in the kitchen. she has managed to prepare and slice up some apples, strawberries, and oranges; aesthetically placing them in a cute lunchbox. in a separate one, she prepared a hefty amount of beef bulgogi on one side and sautéed vegetables on the other, and lastly a bowl of rice. after snapping a couple photos of her hard work, she carefully placed it in a paper bag, sneaking in a few snacks that sooyoung can eat in between breaks. 

taking a pen and a paper from her stash, jiwoo scribbles a note for sooyoung — short but encouraging with haphazardly drawn hearts and smileys.

—

humming along to the song playing on her speakers, jiwoo takes her time to get ready and dress up before heading to the university. she has a lot of time to spare before meeting heejin. although she personally prefers to hand sooyoung the food, she knows that the older does not need any form of interruption right now. so heejin is the best option to ask a favor from because the seniors are still quite lenient to the younger ones, allowing them longer lunch periods and cool downs. 

grabbing her phone, she is welcomed by numerous notifications, most specifically from her recent story which is a flatlay photo of the foods she made. jungeun, in particular, made it a point to speak up about jiwoo’s supposed ‘unjust treatment’ for giving her omelettes only when she had a full course meal prepared by the way she typed in all caps, littered with angry emojis and exclamation marks.

she then scans the list of people who viewed her story but sooyoung is not on the list which is already to be expected. heejin mentioned how hectic today is for them, needing to go over the choreography for polishing before the actual competition in a few days. 

—

jiwoo follows the path in the vast field, walking aimlessly. heejin just left a few minutes ago to go back and practice, sooyoung’s prepared food and a few snacks that jiwoo bought for heejin as both a thank you and good luck in her hands.

jiwoo takes in a deep breath to enjoy the fresh air in this fine afternoon. looking around, she spots a bench just under a tree a few meters away from her. she decides to spend some leisure time just under the shade.

her phone signals a notification and checks to see it coming from sooyoung. a text message. 

_** ‘you !!’ ** _

jiwoo laughs, sooyoung must have received the food from heejin already. another text comes in,

_** ‘kim jiwoo, you... !!’ ** _

_**‘yes, it is me 😝 ’** _

not a few seconds and her phone starts to ring. jiwoo quickly answers, “why are you calling? aren’t you busy?”

“it’s lunch hour for us seniors while the kids practice but i stayed to assist so i excused myself first,”

jiwoo frowns. is sooyoung always skipping lunch, then? “what? do you always skip lunch? when do you have the time to eat again, then?”

“uhh... usually after practice... but i’m having snacks during breaks, i swear! don’t worry hehe...” nervousness claws inside sooyoung because she knows jiwoo is about to scold her in 3... 2... 1-

“unnie.” there it is, the voice that jiwoo uses whenever she wants to knock some sense into whoever’s thick skull it is. this voice is heard so rarely that everyone in their group feels intimidated once jiwoo uses it. 

“i’m sorry...” also, it makes someone apologize in a blink of an eye. 

jiwoo sighs, sooyoung is honestly giving her headache, “don’t you know how unhealthy that is? last week you were practically passing out on me and now i learn that you’re not eating proper meals?"

sooyoung is silent, as if a cat go her tongue.

"fine, continue doing that if that’s what you want. whatever...”

“hey...” now, sooyoung feels extremely guilty. she knows how jiwoo, being naturally caring, puts others first before herself that it causes her so much stress and sooyoung doesn’t want to contribute to that but here she is... 

sighing, sooyoung racks her brain for a way to appease the angry girl, “wait, are you still in the campus?”

jiwoo curtly hums. she sounds really mad to sooyoung.“uhh...” she hesitates, “...may i ask where?”

“at a bench in front of the humanities building, why?” jiwoo is confused at the sudden change of topic. is sooyoung trying to divert and evade the conversation about her unhealthy ways?

sooyoung checks her wrist watch before leaving the bathroom. “wait for me there.” hanging up on jiwoo, she grabs the paper bag that heejin handed her and informs her members that she would be taking a 30 minute lunch break.

zooming through, sooyoung makes a beeline towards where jiwoo is located. she has to make the most out of the 30 minutes she has to spare. reaching the vicinity, she stops and exhales to look around and in a secluded area, one familiar girl is seated just beneath the tree.

she looks to be so deep in her thought that she didn’t notice sooyoung a few feet away from her. her eyebrows are knitted so sooyoung thinks that jiwoo is still in a foul mood. “ihope you are not as mad anymore...”

jiwoo slightly jolts from the sudden voice, looking up to see sooyoung with an apologetic smile in her all black oversized shirt and sweatpants, the familiar paper bag on her hand. unamused, she raises a brow at the older before breaking their eye contact, “aren’t you supposed to be at practice?”

sooyoung hides her laugh at jiwoo’s sarcasm-dripped voice and takes a seat closely beside her, “come on, are you really gonna stay mad at me?”

no answer.

“jiwoo!!!!” sooyoung dramatically calls, facing jiwoo, leaning her face closer to try and catch her eyes. she rests her chin on jiwoo’s shoulder but the younger still won’t look at her. “i’m sorry...”

jiwoo hears the sincerity in sooyoung’s voice but she continues her act to see just until where can sooyoung put up for her forgiveness. 

evil? _nah_ , sooyoung just needs to learn her lesson.

“hey... talk to me?” sooyoung softly says but jiwoo still won’t budge. “no? okay...”

she is once again confused.  _okay? what does she mean by okay? o-oh..._

jiwoo feels feathery touches on her neck, making an obvious path to her cheeks, “stop ignoring me... hmm...?”

sooyoung kisses down again, this time taking her time to litter kisses on jiwoo’s jawline. smugly smirking to herself, knowing she has cracked jiwoo’s facade. 

jiwoo, on the other hand, can’t help but to indulge in the moment while sooyoung continues to whisper her apologies in between kisses that is an embodiment of guilty pleasure — one that jiwoo wants to succumb to but still holds herself back. she is about to fully lose herself when she hears loud laughter from students in their far right so she quickly pushes sooyoung away and glares at her. 

sooyoung just smirks at her and slowly takes out the lunchboxes from the paper bag. 

jiwoo feels her whole face burning at the realization that sooyoung was kissing her in public, where throngs of students are scattered around. she scorns at how unbothered sooyoung looks as she opens the lunchboxes. 

sooyoung definitely knows her aces, she knows which buttons to push and jiwoo can't deny how much it's affecting her.

“wha-“ sooyoung quips, staring at all the food in front of her. her insides start to act up from how much she is touched, her emotions overwhelming her. “jiwoo... come here.”

she pulls jiwoo in for a bear hug, kissing her hair, “you know you didn’t have to... but thank you.”

this time around, jiwoo returns the affection and encircles her arm around sooyoung, “i know. but i want to.”

“thank you, really.”

jiwoo removes herself from the hug and urges sooyoung to start eating. sooyoung happily did so, scooping a spoonful of rice with bulgogi. her eyes widen at the taste, “these are so good. you’re the best.”

jiwoo proudly smiles, glad that sooyoung likes her food, “i really am. and you’re the worst for compromising your health like that,”

“hey, i already said i’m sorry!” sooyoung fake cries and takes another bite.

“just eat,” jiwoo takes a bottle of water from inside the bag and opens the lid, placing it in front of sooyoung who is quickly inhaling all of the food in front of her, mumbling how she didn’t notice how starved she is, “if you skip meals again, i’m never going to talk to you again.”

sooyoung looks at her wide-eyed, cheeks stuffed with food, her face a huge question mark and jiwoo nods at her.

she swallows everything in and takes a swig, “that’s not fair!”

jiwoo giggles at sooyoung’s childish behavior. “watch me do it, sooyoungie...”

“fine. okay, i promise. just don’t...” 

jiwoo nods and smiles at her, taking a slice of apple and offering it to sooyoung, “finish your food. what time do you have to be back?”

yet again, sooyoung’s eyes widen as she checks her watch. she’s five minutes past her lunch period. “5 minutes ago...”

jiwoo mirrors her expressions, eyes also wide as saucers. sooyoung just waves her off.

“it’s alright. few minutes won’t hurt,”

the last few minutes are spent with sooyoung tidying up and preparing her things to return to practice. she trains her eyes to jiwoo who already has her eyes on her. “i hate to cut this short but i really need to go or i won’t hear the end of it from the unnies,”

jiwoo hums and smiles in understanding, “yeah, go ahead. i’ll stay here for a few more before going back,”

“again, thank you for preparing all those for me. that’s so sweet of you,” sooyoung stands and jiwoo follows to properly send her off.

“no problem, sooyoungie. but don’t forget to rest for a short while and digest or you’ll have a stomachache,” jiwoo reminds her. sooyoung nods, leaning forward to kiss her cheeks with a loud smack.

“text me when you get home, ‘ight?” 

with a final wave, sooyoung turns and walks back to the direction of the dance studio while jiwoo once again takes a seat on the bench. 

the view from the seat, jiwoo thinks, is immaculate. she spends every waking moment of her life in this campus, scurrying from class to class, so spending a day like this, just observing and taking in the surroundings is a good change. 

this day has unexpectedly turned out to be really fun thanks to one stubborn girl that is ha sooyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tribute to that recent orbit ring where yves mentioned about chuu making tteokbokki for her *wink*
> 
> well... thoughts? :))


	8. Chapter 8

anxiousness is currently eating sooyoung up as a whole and no, it’s not because of the upcoming performance that she would be participating in but because a certain someone is not yet in the auditorium.

a certain someone named kim jiwoo.

the thing about jiwoo is that the girl is always about to be late but is really never late. she’s the type to show up just seconds before the agreed time and sooyoung is aware of this but she can’t help but worry that jiwoo might not show up at all.

“hey...” she nudges heejin who is currently sitting beside her, tapping on her phone probably exchanging texts with hyunjin, “ask aeongie if jiwoo’s already here,”

heejin stares up at sooyoung who is too fidgety for her own good. heck, the girl can’t even take a seat for a few seconds before she stands up and paces across the room again. “hyunjin literally just said that jiwoo unnie is not yet with them two minutes ago...”

“but she might be there now!” sooyoung whines before taking heejin’s phone and texting hyunjin herself. if jiwoo really won’t show up, she’s going to get really sad and disappointed.

heejin takes her phone back from sooyoung and tells the older to take a seat and relax but she didn’t seem to hear her.

there’s a few minutes left before the event starts and although they are not the first performers, sooyoung just wants to know that jiwoo is in fact out there in the crowd, waiting for her and cheering her on.

it really doesn’t show but sooyoung also feels nervous and is quite antsy with all the anticipation and hype building up and maybe seeing a certain bright smile could somehow put her at ease.

she knows it would. 

“unnie...” heejin’s deep voice rings in sooyoung’s ear as she is snapped out of her thoughts by the shock from the depth of the sound. really, although having been friends for a while now, she still finds herself fascinated with heejin’s lower register. “hyunjin said jiwoo unnie and jungeun unnie are already with them...”

“really?!” heejin laughs at sooyoung’s sudden cheerful voice before a frown makes way to her features, taking her phone out as she mumbles to herself. “...i wonder why she isn’t answering my messages,”

heejin decides she’s had enough of sooyoung’s volatility.

—

the doors of the auditorium flings open, heavy footsteps making their way inside in a rushed manner. lucky for the two, the place is buzzing with people so no one really paid enough attention at how chaotic they are, cussing each other out while they attempt to get a glimpse of their friends.

“fuck, we were almost late,” jungeun cranes her neck left and right as she berates jiwoo, who apparently is the cause of why they were pressed for time, “how could you forget your flowers and just remember them when we are more than halfway here,”

“i’m sorry, okay!” jiwoo says in a whiny voice, pouting and hugging her beloved flowers to her chest.

“yeah yeah whatever...” jungeun pulls her towards the direction of their friends when she spots thhem in the far right side.

“assa! you guys are finally here! what took you so long?” gowon’s honey tone questions them, clinging onto hyejoo’s arm.

jungeun, with her sarcastic tone and crossed arms, explains the whole ordeal that jiwoo has caused while the latter only dons an apologetic smile, beaming at them. hyunjin informs jiwoo how annoying sooyoung was for asking about her every two minutes.

“i bet sooyoung unnie would start hyperventilating if you arrived later,” hyejoo laughs at the idea of sooyoung’s misery, as usual. the two have a weird relationship that jiwoo just wouldn’t fully understand no matter how long she’s known them.

“sooyoung unnie told me to ask you why you aren’t replying to her messages. geez, heejin says she keeps bugging her about it,” 

“oh!” jiwoo quips, reaching her phone inside her bag only to realize that she forgot to turn it back on. she hears jungeun commenting at yet another of jiwoo’s failure this day but she pays her no heed.

once her phone is back on, several notifications flock her phone simultaneously — all from sooyoung.

**_ ‘morning wooming,, i’m so nervous ksjdjdkdkdks’ _ **

**_ ‘you must still be asleep? don’t be late for my performance, okay?’ _ **

and just a bunch of keyboard smashes while she complains about jiwoo’s unreachability. typing a quick ‘i’m here’ and ‘i’m sorry’, she decides to phone sooyoung but is interrupted by an announcement asking students to settle down and find their seats as the program is about to start.

receiving no reply from sooyoung, jiwoo looks around admiring how well decorated the whole place is. usually, the auditorium is filled with a formal air of some sorts with neutral colors as the main palette but what she’s seeing now is so much different from the norm. with glittering ornaments sophisticatedly and strategically placed around, bright spotlights that change in color hits them, jiwoo regards how the university really splurged for this sole event.

her eyes train to her left and that is when she notices something quite odd. beside her,jungeun is unusually quiet, staring in front of her, looking a little lost in her own thoughts. the girl is such a chatterbox that jiwoo finds it strange for her to not engage herself in a conversation of whoever’s beside her.

“you okay?” jiwoo nudges her best friend, scrutinizing her features. and as jungeun looks at her straight in the eyes, smiling before nodding her head, jiwoo knows something is definitely up.

they aren’t best friends for nothing. the years spent together has really gotten them so close to the point where they are almost like twins — their minds and emotions connected. the same reason how jiwoo knew about jungeun’s slight discomfort about something.

the specifics, jiwoo still doesn’t know but she will sooner or later. she doesn’t want to push jungeun too much and she knows that the girl would confide when she’s comfortable enough.

_**‘slightly mad,, talk later, 😡 ’** _

jiwoo laughs a little for she knows sooyoung is just being her sulky self. she sends sooyoung a simple good luck message and an assurance that she will do well. she knows how confident sooyoung can be but behind that, she also feels nervousness and there are certain times where sooyoung would open up to her about such concerns.

everyone inside starts to settle down once the event starts and the director of the university makes her way up to give an opening speech.

“boring...” hyejoo fake yawns and jiwoo elbows her, stifling a laugh. there’s no denying that speeches before a hyped event truly is a bore and the audience wants nothing but to finally witness the most awaited competition.

finally, after more or less ten minutes of talk, the audience starts to roar from excitement as the first group starts to perform. 

_ wow, they are good... _

apart from being extremely good, they also have members that are extremely popular to the students. seo soojin and yooa being one of the remarkable ones.

their performance obviously ended on a great note with the way the people reacted and even them, who came to fully support sooyoung and heejin, can’t help but applaud at how well the execution was.

jiwoo starts to feel nervous, too. every group that performs on the stage has their own flair and charm that tug at the crowd everytime. the competition is cutthroat and she can’t stop herself from getting anxious, what more the performers backstage.

after a couple more performances, the master of ceremony calls for the next one — sooyoung’s group. and the whole row of where jiwoo and her friends are sat starts to shout and cheer alongside almost the whole auditorium.

the dance group that sooyoung and heejin belongs to is inarguably one of the most famous ones in the whole university. although nothing less is to be expected as every single member is subjected to a certain degree of fame, jiwoo still gasps when she sees a group of girls with their handmade banners cheering and howling.

“wah! i didn’t know soo and heejin are this popular!” jinsol muses and the others can’t help but agree.

the stage is now akin to a fluffy cloud with the fog filling it up and the cheers continue to heighten when the group starts to get into formation. jungeun, being the loud one, starts to howl and cheer, specifically for sooyoung and heejin. jiwoo laughs, slightly relieved that jungeun is back to her old self.

“jeon heejin! ha sooyoung!”

jiwoo immediately spots sooyoung at the very front alongside other seniors. they were all dressed in suits, each altered to evoke uniqueness and individuality but still being cohesive. sooyoung, in particular, is looking a little too good with her hair slightly brushed back, her inner shirt cropped with a few buttons left open, her blazer perfectly hugging her frame. 

every single person on stage is such an eye candy yet jiwoo finds herself mesmerized by a single person. a grin so wide stretches across her face as she starts to cheer and call for sooyoung’s name. “ha sooyoung you’re so cool!” 

jungeun takes her hand and they simultaneously raise it up, shouting at the top of their lungs before exploding in laughter.

the beat drops and the whole group performs in such power and synchrony. if jiwoo would judge, she would say that it is well-choreographed; from how smooth the transitions are, to the complexity of the steps but still cleanly performed, and to how to every member is given the chance to shine in the center.

and knowing that sooyoung contributed to such masterpiece, jiwoo feels extremely proud and happy at the result. she knows how much the older worked for this.

the beat changes in a slower tempo, the lighting dims a little, streaks of red light striking across the stage aesthetically, and the choreography opens up to sooyoung sultrily striding forward before every other dancer on stage halts.

then it’s just sooyoung dancing alone in the middle, with such sharpness and grace in time with the music.

her eyes, they are predatory. lit with a fiery confidence that is sooyoung’s alone. her own brand. and they are staring straight to jiwoo’s.

hypnotism. that moment felt like a hypnotism to jiwoo and she finds it too difficult to avert her gaze away. it is as if sooyoung wanted her to blatantly stare and marvel at her and her alone — casting a spell that would pull and bind her in with her eyes.

with the redness of jiwoo’s whole face, the casted spell is a major success.

sooyoung then chooses to be brazen, breaking off the spell with a wink of her eyes as she takes her blazer off halfway, revealing her toned arms to the whole crowd for a good few seconds before turning around towards the back of the group. 

and the audience starts to lose their composure, too.

jiwoo finds herself heaving and inhaling a large amount of air in from how hot that little bit of the performance is.

sooyoung’s charm and charisma is through the roof. and although her eyes are at jiwoo’s the whole time, she has managed to charm the entire crowd.

jiwoo feels jungeun and chaewon pushing her playfully, teasing her from what they just witnessed.

“did she just flirt with you mid-performance?!” jungeun screeches beside her ear, almost dying from excessive laughter.

they finessed their way from start to finish and jiwoo thinks they have a fair amount of chance to win the whole competition. proud smiles mirroring each other’s as they all check up on each other’s reaction.

“if they don’t win i’m throwing hands,” hyejoo comments, slumping back into her seat after being on edge for the majority of the performance.

—

the auditorium starts to empty out as people rushes their way out the place. the event just ended and it is safe to call it a success with how the crowd reacted all throughout.

they all squeeze their way to go and wait for sooyoung and heejin out front. days prior to this, it has already been mutually decided by the group to eat out after, no matter what the result is. also a way for them to catch up, grabbing the rare opportunity of all of them being free.

jiwoo takes a notice at how jungeun is a little too clingy today. not that it is unusual as her best friend is really clingy more than she tries to let off but today is just  too  much not to notice. now she is more certain that something's definitely wrong.

“spill when you're comfortable?” jiwoo squeezes jungeun’s forearm, eyes sympathetic and understanding. the blonde nods affirmatively before getting even closer, hugging her.

they engage in a conversation as they wait for their two other friends and it took about a few more minutes before heejin came running towards them. loud cheers fill their bubble, them shower heejin with praises and congratulations.

“as expected of jeon heejin!”

heejin has a huge smile on her face, beaming with an obvious joy and sense of pride, thanking them repeatedly for coming out to support them.

“where’s soo?” jinsol then asks after they settle down. they were too engrossed by heejin’s arrival that they didn’t notice how sooyoung has not yet showed up.

“ahh, she’s still with the seniors talking about our performance. honestly, they all looked quite down although they try to put on a happy face,” heejin pouts at the memory of the forlorn faces of the older ones in the group. they must have felt accountable for how the results turned out and it’s weighing on them.

“huh? placing second is already a great deal though?” gowon queries, genuine confusion in her voice. 

“that’s what we’ve been telling them but they still keep beating themselves up. you see, they were in charge of the whole choreography with minimal assistance from our instructor so... i don’t know...” heejin shrugs, “...i think they’re blaming themselves for not securing the first place for us?”

jiwoo’s brows upturns from heejin’s little speech, her mind deliberately thinking about sooyoung and how she’s grasping the situation. the older can be quite hard on herself at times and she’s especially afraid of disappointing others more than herself. although, the result is far from a disappointment, jiwoo know that the perfectionist side of ha sooyoung won’t be easy on her.

“oh! there’s lisa unnie! they must be finished talking... unnie!” heejin’s deep voice calls for lisa loudly, who is walking with another girl beside her. the two change their direction to go towards them. 

kim jennie, jiwoo recognizes. lisa’s girlfriend and also university famous for her sophisticated beauty and intimidating aura. however, the girl in front of her is an opposite of those claims with her gummy smile in place as she bows in greeting, lisa doing the same.

heejin and lisa talk for a short while before the two wave goodbye, turning towards the direction of where they were initially headed after lisa’s final words, “sooyoung should be out in a few. cheer her up, yeah?”

they all share a look of knowing. scrambling to think of a way to approach sooyoung. it’s not everyday for sooyoung to have a heavy heart as they are all more used to her playful teasings, so they start to have an internal panic on what they can do with the situation.

and then suddenly, all eyes are on jiwoo. she looks at each of her friends in question before they all start nodding and pushing her back inside the building.

“go find her jiwoo!” jinsol coaxes, encouraging her with a tap on her back.

“yeah, i think it’s better for jiwoo unnie to talk to her first,” heejin seconds the motion, pushing jiwoo by her shoulders.

and she is left with no choice but to go back in to search for the somber girl, the little bouquet of flowers in her hand. not that she doesn’t want to, of course she would always be willing to cheer up sooyoung.

the auditorium looks so different now that it is desolated unlike when it was bustling with students. pushing the scary thoughts creeping her mind from being alone, she strides towards the backstage, calling for sooyoung.

“sooyoung unnie...”

no answer. the rooms are also void of any people and jiwoo starts to wonder if sooyoung already left the place. she stops in the middle of the hallway, sending sooyoung a quick message, then her eye spots an open doorway in the far right.

before she knows it, her feet drag her towards the direction and usually, in horror movies, this is when danger starts. but this is reality and outside the door, a figure is leaning across the wall, a phone in hand before pocketing it back. different from the sooyoung she watched perform, this sooyoung in front of her is dressed in baggy clothes and a pink beanie, her duffel bag placed on the ground beside her.

“did you just ignore my message?” jiwoo tries her best to sound stern and offended but almost falters when sooyoung jumps, surprised.

then the surprise in her face changes. raw despondence taking over. she looks too crestfallen that jiwoo feels her heart crack a little. the dejection and disappointment in her eyes too clear and genuine.

“jiwoo...” 

“hey... come here...” jiwoo doesn’t wait for her. she meets her halfway and quickly encircles her arms around her, tapping her back softly to console her, “you did such a spectacular job out there, sooyoungie... you should be proud!”

sooyoung rests her chin atop jiwoo’s shoulder, somewhat annoyed at herself for feeling this way when she knows she should be celebrating, “i know... and i hate myself for feeling this way but... i just do,”

it’s one of those days for sooyoung where her emotions are reigning over her no matter how much she tries not to let it to.

“i feel like we could have done better choreographing. maybe it was lacking in some aspects for us not to win first place...?” sooyoung continues to rant and jiwoo lets her.

sooyoung needs to let her sentiments out and jiwoo is more than willing to listen to her without any forms of judgment. the older detaches herself from her before leaning back against the wall, face down.

she can’t even lift her head up.

“and it’s not only me. the others especially the seniors share the same sentiment but we try our best not to let it spoil the happiness of the others,” 

sooyoung sighs a deep, heavy one, running a hand frustratingly across her face. then she looks at jiwoo, a smile in place — a forced one. 

“look...” jiwoo waves the flowers in front of sooyoung’s face whose eyes widen, “...you know how they say that we should shower flowers with positivity for them to grow in full bloom?...poor flowers, they would just wither from how sad you are,”

“are those for me?” sooyoung reaches forward but jiwoo holds it far from her.

“yes. also the reason why we were almost late,” jiwoo sheepishly chuckles, “and no i refuse to give them to you now,”

“huh? why?”

“because i got them for you as an appreciation for how hard you’ve worked but you obviously don’t appreciate yourself enough so these flowers are invalid,” jiwoo sigh exaggeratedly, looking down at the bouquet with a somber expression before gazing at sooyoung.

and finally, sooyoung chuckles. catching up with jiwoo’s attempt in trying to uplift her mood. smiling, she takes the flowers from her, “give me my flowers...”

“no but seriously unnie...” jiwoo looks at her dead in the eye, “i know it sucks not to win first place. i truly, truly understand you...”

jiwoo rolls her eyes for emphasis. the comical way of how she explains prompts a chuckle from sooyoung. this girl is a cartoon in flesh, really.

“...but try to look further than just this loss. you got to do what you love with people that are equally passionate about dancing. you were given the chance to show your incredible talent and choreograph — which is amazing by the way...” she stresses on the word 'amazing'.

“thanks...” sooyoung whispers, slightly embarrassed now that she thinks about jiwoo’s words.

“...and i know that this is just the first of the many choreographies you will be creating and sharing with how talented you are, sooyoung...”

she finds herself nodding along to everything the younger tells her. everything that she agrees with. as a person who likes to keep things in her, with no one but herself to have a war against, someone like jiwoo is a breath of fresh air for her tightened chest full of self-deprecation. someone who shows her the bigger and brighter picture that she fails to see and look at from how focused she is on the smaller ones. 

and sooyoung can never be thankful for meeting jiwoo in this lifetime.

“you are amazing, do you know that?” sooyoung lifts her head to stare right back at jiwoo, sincerity vivid in her eyes.

“so i’ve been told.” jiwoo whips her hair back lightheartedly and they both burst into laughter.

“come and hug this petty and dramatic girl, jiwooming.” sooyoung opens her arms wide and jiwoo goes scurrying over, snuggling into sooyoung’s chest for a nice, tight hug. 

a hug of gratefulness. a hug of assurance. _a hug for the soul._

“you may not have won the competition but you’ve won yourself a deeper relationship with your group.”

she hums in agreement. sooyoung thinks it feels nice, to have someone by her side like this.

“and i’ve won myself a bouquet of flowers from the most amazing girl,” 

she lightly hits sooyoung’s back, before pulling her even closer while sooyoung gives jiwoo a quick kiss on her forehead, whispering another word of gratitude against her skin.

long minutes go by in silence, them staying in the same exact position before jiwoo hears her phone notify a message. she checks and sees it's from jungeun asking where she is and what’s taking them so long. knowing how sooyoung might slightly be uncomfortable to talk about it to everyone just yet, she just messages that they’d be joining them in a few.

“are you ready to go now? they’re already asking for us,” jiwoo asks, showing sooyoung the messages. she takes her bag, slings it on her shoulder, flowers on her hand and jiwoo’s hand on the other, she starts to pull her back inside the still desolated hallway.

sooyoung turns a few lights off, leaving some for the utility on.

“don’t think i forgot about you being almost late and not replying to my texts,”

they make it past the backstage and is now in the main hall, walking up the flight of steps towards the exit. suddenly, jiwoo stops and turns to sooyoung, kissing her on the lips with a light smack.

“is that an enough apology?” jiwoo smirks while sooyoung is quite surprised from the unexpected display of affection.

smirking, she decides to play along jiwoo’s game, “nope.”

jiwoo leans forward again, and now that sooyoung is aware of what she is about to do, she meets her halfway. only this time, jiwoo gives her two chaste kisses rather than a single one, “...how about that?” 

the grin on sooyoung’s is something that can not be painted over even by da vinci himself, as it continues to stretch, shaking her head no. she wants to see how far jiwoo’s boldness can last.

and so, she is rewarded by three kisses. two on her lips and a single one on her cheek. but she still shakes her head no, her eyes challenging jiwoo.

“not quite yet-“

jiwoo cuts her off with another, and another. she places her hands on sooyoung’s shoulder, tiptoes, and literally showers sooyoung’s face with tiny smooches without stopping. on her lips, cheeks, eyes, nose, forehead, chin, everywhere.

they start to giggle at how silly they must be right now. sooyoung thinks that if a random person walks in on them, they might gag.

but damn it, she sure is enjoying herself right now.

finally, jiwoo stops with one last kiss on her nose, “i think those are enough, no?”

it must not be forgotten that sooyoung has some type of addiction to jiwoo’s lips the moment it first landed on hers. so she lets this addiction take over as she places a hand by jiwoo’s jaw and surges forward to kiss her deeper than those little smooches.

she feels jiwoo’s hands squeeze her shoulder before the girl starts to move her lips in synchrony with sooyoung’s.

and they both realize that they couldn’t get enough of the way it feels everytime they kiss just a little bit longer. and how much they do not want to separate if not for the need to breathe.

“i would’ve been mad if you didn’t show up and it would take more than just your kisses to pacify me,” sooyoung utters, voice heaving. 

sucking in a deep breath, she lowly hums before taking jiwoo’s bottom lip in between her lips to yet again indulge herself from its sweet taste — sweeter than any candy ever made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helo :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii! hope everyone is having a peaceful and safe holidays! ⛄️ ❄️

jinsol looks out of it. seated inside a samgyeopsal place, chopsticks in hand, gaze in front but not at heejin who's across from her, her mind goes over what she just witnessed. something too much for her to just ignore.

jinsol is also being dramatic. too dramatic, and sooyoung is hating every minute of it.

“i am scarred.” jinsol utters for the umpteenth time. she does so every three minutes (hyejoo timed it). she just repeats the sentence word per word and shares no other context.

initially, it has caused confusion and curiosity to the people in the table but after trying to get her to share more, everyone chose to just let her be.

“stop being dramatic and shut up,” to say sooyoung has had enough is an understatement. she perfectly knows what jinsol is talking about and the continual dramatic blabber of the latter makes no sense to her.

it’s not like she has not witnessed two people kissing before. sooyoung rolls her eyes, she does not really care if their friends find out but she’s unsure on jiwoo’s opinion on this. although judging by the way jiwoo would chuckle when jinsol starts to zone out again, the girl must share the same sentiment with her. maybe because she’s comfortable enough with the array of people around her.

“i just saw two of my friends sucking faces. i am scarred for life,”

loud coughs are heard, heads turning to look at her, brows knitted, while eyes are looking weirdly at what jinsol has stated — the coughs coming from jiwoo while the rest of their friends focus on jinsol.

suddenly everyone stops their movements, and then they all turn to sooyoung and jiwoo, and then their eyes start to dance in mischief, obviously finally figuring out what jinsol just said.

“ohh... must be why we waited so long, huh?” heejin’s voice is taunting and so are her eyes, going back and forth to the both of them.

chaewon, on the other hand, makes gagging noises while hyejoo’s face is cringing so hard with the information, “jinsol unnie you didn’t have to share that!”

only hyunjin looks indifferent, which is to be expected. well, it’s no news to her how jiwoo and sooyoung’s relationship are much deeper now so she thinks that such affections are inevitable but she agrees with hyejoo that jinsol didn’t have to disclose it.

and now, the image is all in their heads.

but jinsol continues her act. clutching her hair in exasperation while her eyes narrows at sooyoung, “i can’t believe you guys,”

sooyoung rolls her eyes, slouching a little on her seat, before giving jinsol a knowing glare, “yeah whatever... such hypocrisy coming from someone who literally sucks random girls’ faces before,”

recovering from the fits of cough, jiwoo lets out a squeak at the fire sooyoung just spit out. she elbows sooyoung lightly on her arms, controlling her laughter so she doesn’t unintentionally offend jinsol.

and with that remark, the hot seat shifts to jinsol, who looks shocked and speechless. the others buckle up for what is about to unfold before their eyes.

“t-that was before!” jinsol voice is getting a bit louder but not loud enough to overpower the noise inside the restaurant. “i’ve changed my ways!”

“that’s beside the point but okay...” oh how badly jinsol wants to wipe the condescending smirk off sooyoung’s face.

“i suggest both of you to stop before something more scandalous gets revealed,” heejin says in between laughs plainly because it’s quite ridiculous and silly to see the two oldest in their group acting like the youngest.

they all return to gobbling up the food in front of them, eating to their hearts’ contents without the worry about the looming bill. on their way, jinsol has announced that the dinner is on her as a way to congratulate heejin and sooyoung for a job well done.

it may not look like it but jinsol really has the softest heart especially for the people she care about.

“i have to say though,” jinsol drawls, swallowing her food, “damn hasoo you were so hot earlier!”

sooyoung’s face instantly morphs into disgust, uncomfortable with jinsol's use of words and phrasing. “...uh,”

“no homo though!” jinsol immediately clarifies after receiving suspicious looks from everyone in the table (except one person).

“god, you need to stop talking unnie!” jiwoo giggles. everything jinsol has said today is making everyone’s heads ache.

“why, you jealous?” jinsol wiggles her brows at her but jiwoo just shakes her head, taking a piece of meat off the grill. she knows she would not be hearing the end of it if she answers the question.

casual talks continue as the topic shifts from one thing to another. nothing too substantial, just talking and catching up about their individual lives.

“lip unnie, you good? you’re so quiet today...” hyunjin suddenly asks, realizing how the usual chatterbox is not really leading the conversation. jungeun lifts her head up from the sudden call out before smiling at hyunjin, reasoning how she is just sleepy.

jiwoo would have believed her if she is not in this state the whole day.

she would have believed her if she didn’t catch the unusual behavior of jinsol at hyunjin’s question, although she tried to mask it.

because jiwoo has been observing the both of them and she noticed that they never interacted, even once, over the course of the day.

something that definitely makes the emergency bells ring in jiwoo’s head.

—

friday nears its end as night comes but for some, it is just the beginning. particularly in a house a few minutes away from the university bursting with liveliness from the blasting music and a variety of strobe lights to set the tone for the night.

a party. thrown by kang seulgi as both a celebration and an appreciation for everyone in the dance crew although not only exclusive for the members as they can invite whoever they want to.

from the outside, the whole house already looks buzzing.

the double doors open up for jiwoo, jungeun, and hyunjin. and inside is literally so much more and their hearts start thrumming along the loud beats emitting off the large speakers placed strategically around.

it’s a lot different from what jiwoo initially expected. she thought that the whole place will be crammed up and tight but it’s actually really spacious although it looks like a lot of people from the university are already inside. on one side are loads of snacks, finger foods, alcoholic drinks and non-alcoholic ones. on another is what she supposes are different activities they could participate in like beerpong, card games, and pool. and in the very heart of the wide first floor is the dance floor where throngs of people are gathered, almost dancing skin to skin.

there are a few more things that jiwoo can’t figure out from the dimness of the place but overall, it looks to be a well-organized party. something that fits jiwoo’s taste since she really isn’t the type to frequent a rambunctious club.

jiwoo catches sight of sooyoung seated on the couch with her friends, laughing, with a red cup on her hand.

“there’s sooyoung unnie,” hyunjin follows jiwoo’s line of sight. the older must have felt eyes on her, she looks towards their direction and instantly waves at them, saying a few words to the group before standing and pulling heejin along with her, who was sat on the bean bag.

jiwoo’s eyes then wander around the entirety of sooyoung. there really isn’t anything special, just her in black trousers, a tight fitting cropped shirt inside a cropped black jacket slightly longer than her shirt. almost like her usual attire but something about sooyoung under the flashing streaks of light and the dimness of the whole place elevates her attractiveness on a whole other level.

and when jiwoo gets a closer look of her, she notices how her face and neck is tinted with a shade of scarlet. eyes slightly glazed over with a very very _very_ charming smile stretching her lips.

ha sooyoung looks absolutely ravishing and jiwoo can’t believe that she is having thoughts like this.

“hey! you guys made it!” sooyoung shouts through the booming music, staring from hyunjin to jungeun until her eyes settle on jiwoo. and it must have been the alcohol in her system (or it’s just her real and genuine feelings) but she feels her face heating up even more from the sight of the woman in front of her.

jiwoo, in her cute little pastel dress looks absolutely stunning and elegant in sooyoung’s eyes. she’s got the perfect balance of innocence and maturity in her stance that sooyoung finds so appealing. her face slightly enhanced by a minimal makeup but her lips are a bright shade of reddish-pink, and sooyoung is having a difficulty of looking away.

“jinsol unnie is just talking to a friend... somewhere, i’m not sure but she’s around,” heejin explains seeing a certain blonde’s neck furtively craning left to right and the sudden mention of jinsol’s name snaps jungeun eyes towards heejin.

“yeah okay...”

heejin and sooyoung lead the three towards the bar area for each of them to grab a drink of their choice where a bartender hired for the night is waiting to serve guests. after placing their order, the bartender makes his way towards the huge shelf of different liquors displayed behind him.

heejin and hyunjin scurries to the food area while jungeun is a few feet away from jiwoo, talking to a familiar friend she has the same class with.

jiwoo focuses her eyes on sooyoung sipping on her cup, lightly bouncing in her place along to the music, the other hand resting on the bar counter just behind jiwoo.

“are you already drunk?” jiwoo chuckles, leaning her body against the counter, observing the people dancing. maybe later, when she is fueled with alcohol, she would go up there and join in on the fun.

sooyoung turns her head fully at jiwoo, getting a little closer to lean in, asking jiwoo to repeat herself when she failed to catch what the girl said.

jiwoo then positions her mouth by sooyoung’s ear so she could hear her better, “i asked if you’re drunk!”

sooyoung feels jiwoo's breath fan her skin and she sees herself smirking at her question. the smug grin on sooyoung’s face widens, “what do you think?”

jiwoo shakes her head at that. obviously, the answer is yes. although she is not deadass drunk, the alcohol is already starting to do its job as reflected on sooyoung’s current actions. tipsy would be a much more fitting adjective for her.

“nah, just a bit buzzed. i still know what i’m doing,” sooyoung reaches for jiwoo’s drink, offering it to her and the latter takes it with a soft thank you, sipping on her margarita. 

hard liquors are not for kim jiwoo.

she lets her eyes scan jiwoo again from head to toe, appreciating the beauty once more. “have i mentioned that you look beautiful tonight?”

jiwoo blushes at the compliment whispered to her. well, with the way sooyoung has been staring at her since earlier, it’s something that has already been established. although, jiwoo wouldn’t deny that hearing those words leave sooyoung’s mouth stirs the butterflies inside her. “thanks. you also look amazing tonight.”

knowing smiles are exchanged. sooyoung shaking her head while jiwoo takes a sip, suddenly feeling shy from that little exchange.

intriguing. jiwoo finds it intriguing how familiar experiences with sooyoung always feel brand new.

“good?” jiwoo inquisitively stares at her, “your drink. is it good?”

jiwoo nods, offering the glass for sooyoung to taste. she takes a sip, crinkling her nose slightly before saying how there is not much alcohol present. “well i’m not really planning to get wasted. are you?”

“depends. will you take care of me when i’m passed out drunk?”

“you wish!” jiwoo chortles when sooyoung resorts to pull out her sulky card, a pout and a whine on her lips, although it seems much exaggerated when she’s inebriated jiwoo's eyes crinkle more, her lips wide from laughter. “i’m kidding! of course i will, just don’t get alcohol poisoning, ‘ight?”

“really you would do that?” a question and a smile, sooyoung turns hopeful.

“yes. i want you to have fun. it’s your night so you should enjoy yourself,” jiwoo assures her with certainty in her voice, eyes telling her to trust her.

sooyoung thinks about the amount of trust she has for jiwoo. too much. the proximity between them temporarily vanishes when sooyoung steps closer and plants a kiss on her lips, thanking jiwoo for having her back tonight. a bold move especially with the amount of people who may be catching sight of sooyoung's actions, but at the moment she does not really care.

and jiwoo, too, thinks she's not in the mood to entertain other people's curious stares. not when sooyoung is giving her affection and being too adoring.

“uhh... are you about to make out right now?” the sight that jungeun came back to is not something she really prefers to see but what can she really do but to suck it up. her friends are infatuated with each other, they are at a party, one has had a lot to drink, the other already has alcohol in her veins — it is to be expected.

“nah...” sooyoung is looking at her with her usual mischief, shrugging, “...maybe later.”

and a resounding smack is heard faintly at the top of all the noise, jiwoo reprimanding sooyoung who’s clutching her arms in pain.

jungeun rolls her eyes. “deserve.”

—

the night continues to deepen. time feels frozen. the moment feels like an escape from reality as they make the most out of it.

and as the clock continues to turn, the more the party heightens, people getting much more intoxicated, the music reaching multiple climaxes, bodies swaying without a single care as they let go of all their inhibitions. maybe because it feels liberating, somehow it feels like a way of shaking off the stress from classes, deadlines, and examinations.

the course of jiwoo’s night is interesting, to say the least. being the social sunshine that she is, she found herself getting comfortable faster than she thought she would. she has talked to familiar faces she meets eyes with, bantering, laughing, and being introduced to more people. sooyoung also made it a point to introduce jiwoo to her friends that jiwoo is yet to meet.

jiwoo thinks it’s much easier to break the ice when alcohol is present. yes, it’s not really hard for her to approach and talk to people but it’s just relatively smoother when both parties are a tad bit drunk.

she also makes sure to involve jungeun in the conversation, introducing her to her acquaintances. she knows her best friend is too embarrassed to do it herself. she is also aware that something is bothering jungeun’s mind and talking to other people could help distract her a little and maybe enjoy herself more.

after socializing, they found heejin and hyunjin on one end of a pingpong table, aiming at red cups on the other side. from the looks of it and after counting the numbers of cups left, their friends are winning.

after clearing our their opponents’ cups, the two challenged them in a game. jungeun sits out, her alibi being she isn’t really good with her aim but the truth is she just can’t bother herself to try. but jiwoo and sooyoung don’t need to know that as they look to be more than willing to participate, the competitiveness in them slowly waking from its slumber.

it was a close fight. both teams not giving up although their visions are slightly unstable from consuming beer.

the game ends with a clutch win for the younger ones, mocking them for losing.

then they spend a good amount of time moving their bodies in time with the beat on the dance floor until jungeun excuses herself to go and take a breather, leaving sooyoung and jiwoo to themselves.

“do you want me to go with you?” jiwoo stops for a second and stares at her with sincerity.

jungeun knows what her best friend is doing. and she’s thankful. but she also want jiwoo to relish in the moment so she shakes her head, smiling. besides, she just wants to rest for a bit, maybe sit on the bar or on the couches with heejin and hyunjin.

jiwoo watches jungeun leave, making a mental note on her path for an easier search later. she feels a hand take her wrist, flailing it along to the beat, sooyoung's squinted, cheekbones popping, and a big smile on her face present in pure giddiness.

jiwoo dances along, feeling adrenaline rushing within her as the music continues to peak. a moment enjoyed in its purest form. who cares if they look silly doing random moves, who cares if people may look at them weird, the most important thing right now for the both of them is to have the funnest they can.

and they did. with hands clasped with each other’s, they dance and sing along to the familiar tune of the song playing, giggling whilr they stagger from time to time after crashing against other people on the floor.

“aw!” contrary to how she should feel, jiwoo laughs after a stranger accidentally steps on her foot.

sooyoung checks up on her, then pulls her near, right in front of her. both of them facing forward.

the music fades out and in comes another. the genre changes into something more mellow and sultry as the lights dim a bit more, red streaks of lights flicker here and there.

the shift in the air is too palpable, tensions start to consistently build up without any intention to go down. the lyrics doesn’t help at all. surely, it is not too vulgar and are actually sugarcoated but to someone who is technically not an avid listener to the likes of the song, jiwoo thinks they still sound... _sexy_ , for the lack of better terms.

the people around her also shift in accordance to the ongoing music, although jiwoo is not that much surprised considering how a great number of attendees are dancers. people start to sway their bodies in a rhythm matching the song's melody.

now, jiwoo does not know how to act. unsure if she should sit this one out — probably the most logical thing to do, her mind says. but such thought starts to lose its appeal when she feels hands lightly hold her waist from the back, as if hesitating.

“hey,” sooyoung whispers, voice slightly hoarse from too much shouting along the lyrics of the past set of music. “uncomfortable?”

the two of them are probably the only ones staying still but it’s the least of sooyoung’s concerns now. jiwoo being at the top of it, contrarily.

jiwoo bites her bottom lip, slightly turning her head to acknowledge sooyoung, “just... i’m not sure how to properly dance with a music like this?”

“jiwoo-ah...” sooyoung chuckles, finding jiwoo’s worries quite adorable, “there’s no proper way. you just have to feel and let it take over your body,”

jiwoo nods, telling herself just that, heart thumping from nervousness. then she feels sooyoung’s hands on her waist slowly pull her flush against her body, her back against sooyoung’s front. “let me help you,”

and then sooyoung starts to sway. their proximity allowing jiwoo to feel every movement she does. it is so compelling that jiwoo finds herself closing her eyes and loosening up.

_fuck it._

jiwoo’s heart pounds twice as fast. her body taking over her as she stops all logical thoughts. she feels sooyoung’s hands firmly grasp her waist. like a silent gesture coaxing her more.

“there we go...” jiwoo unknowingly bites her lip harder, finding the whole experience feverish, and sooyoung’s breath by her ear adding fuel. she encases one of sooyoung’s hand in hers.

the more that they dance, the bolder they get. the more jiwoo moves confidently. initial uncertainty long gone, reaching for her hair, gathering it in one hand, before raising it to let air blow against her heated skin. the area being relatively hot from being too cramped up.

jiwoo feels cool air kiss her skin, sighing from relief. but not a second later, she catches her breath in her throat, gasping, when she feels something else kiss her skin.

when she feels a pair of lips planted at the side of her neck, shallowly breathing against it.

“hot?” sooyoung asks, her breath tickling jiwoo’s neck, sending a shiver down her spine.

_too hot._ jiwoo wants to answer but she can only nod. she doesn’t even know what sooyoung is pertaining to but the adjective is the only fitting word to describe everything right now — from the way she feels, the song, the mood, _sooyoung._

sooyoung starts moving her lips up jiwoo’s jaw. slowly, taking her time to kiss her way up, leaving trails of sparks as she continues to dance. but jiwoo’s patience is wearing thin. she starts to turn, following the path of sooyoung’s lips, until their lips meet for a fervent kiss, the feeling so intense that jiwoo reaches up sooyoung’s shoulders for support.

“continue dancing...” sooyoung whispers in between the kiss, proceeding to suck on jiwoo’s bottom lip, lightly nipping at it before kissing her fully. her hands on jiwoo’s waist guiding the latter to move and dance with her one more time.

and in the middle of the hazy dance floor, in the middle of an intoxicated crowd is a similarly intoxicated pair, with no other thoughts but the want to feel more of this very electrifying exchange of intense kisses and unspoken emotions aimed at each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gotta add some lipsoul in there, do we? ;>
> 
> thoughts on this chapter?


	10. Chapter 10

_1:04_

the bright light from her phone blinds her when she checks for the time. more than an hour past midnight but the place is at the liveliest its ever been. typical parties.

jiwoo is not much of a drinker, not the drink till you drop type, so as she feels herself start to get quite dizzy, vision slightly spinning, she realizes that she may have had a few too much to drink. 

having the need to relax, she rests her back against the couch, her line of vision going from heejin and hyunjin (who are in their own world) across her before it moves away and unexpectedly meets another — sooyoung’s.

the older is on the other side of the room, talking to what seem to be her friends who just arrived minutes ago. jiwoo is not familiar with them. 

sooyoung sends her a cute wink, smiling playfully. jiwoo can only shake her head at her shenanigans.

“hey jiwoo!” a familiar voice calls from the back, making her turn. a smile instantly pulls on her lips when gyuri walks around the couch and takes a seat beside her, a drink on her hand, and flashing a smile of her own. 

“unnie! hey!” jiwoo squeals and acknowledges her presence, hugging gyuri back when the latter pulls her in for a quick one. “so nice to see you here!”

“was not expecting to see you at a party scene!” gyuri laughs, and even in the darkness of the place, her perfect set of teeth are almost blinding. jiwoo thinks the girl is an absolute beauty. “i thought i’d say hi but my friends are being a pain. thank god i managed to escape them.”

jiwoo laughs along. she finds it so easy to converse with gyuri, eversince. no awkwardness, just genuine comfort as if talking to a friend she’s known eversince. the colloquy naturally flows between them, no dead airs or unwanted pauses in between, talking about practically anything. 

“yeah? i’m actually friends with jeon heejin and ha sooyoung from the dance team and they invited us to come,” jiwoo points at heejin, whose head is slumped on hyunjin’s shoulder — both seem to have dozed off. 

gyuri’s face brightens in recognition, laughing at the sight before her, “they’re knocked out,”

jungeun enters jiwoo’s line of sight. the girl walking to them, stopping when she notices a stranger beside her friend, and hesitating on whether she should stay or leave again. typical jungeun in front of other people. 

jiwoo pulls her before she can even think of escaping, and introduces jungeun and gyuri to each other. they flash their friendly smiles although jiwoo thinks that jungeun slightly looks constipated — she makes a mental note to tease her about it later.

they fall back in the conversation, now with jungeun as an addition.

“look at sooyoung unnie,” jungeun whispers to jiwoo, her eyes in front.

jiwoo turns her head to the direction of where jungeun is staring at and sees sooyoung staring at them with a blank expression. a hundred eighty degree shift from her mood prior gyuri’s arrival. she wonders what could have happened for her to be in a mood when she’s all smiles all night. jiwoo’s brows knit, nonverbally asking the older in the far front.

“you’re doomed, jiwoo,” jungeun warns her, a laugh following suit, obviously catching on to what is about to unfold, contrary to a confused jiwoo right now.

“huh? why?” 

soft fingers gently runs across jiwoo’s forehead. her eyes slightly widen when she turns to see gyuri smiling before stopping in smoothing out the creases on her brows. “something wrong?”

“uh oh...” jungeun whispers yet jiwoo catches her words. remembering gyuri’s question, she smiles at the latter, shaking her head no. 

gyuri’s smile widens, gently patting jiwoo’s head with her hand repeatedly, “you’re so cute. anyway, i have to go now. my friends are already flooding me with messages,”

“yeah! go ahead, unnie. say hi to your friends for me,” jiwoo smiles and waves a hand at gyuri.

“see you around, jiwoo! and it’s nice to meet you jungeun,”

a clicking on a tongue cut through the air, jungeun shaking her head at her with a fake look of disapproval, fighting back a smirk. 

“what?” jiwoo asks, looking at her weird friend, who just continues to click her tongue annoyingly.

“tsk tsk tsk...” 

she ignores jungeun and check on sooyoung again, who looks to be in another company, only this time, her smile is back while she converses with a certain girl. the frown on jiwoo’s face returns when she makes up the face of the unknown woman who is somewhat familiar. she just can’t point a finger on who.

“clue, hongdae cafe and cookies,” jungeun states, fully knowing how jiwoo is racking her brain about who the girl is.

_oh_.  jiwoo wants to be indifferent about it. jiwoo badly wants to be indifferent even after recognizing that the girl identifies to be the same girl who approached them at the cafe to hand sooyoung some baked goods. she wants to be nonchalant although that girl is the same girl she was unfashionably jealous about. but how can she, when she is currently watching sooyoung give the girl shy smiles, as she nods along to whatever it is they’re talking about?

how? jiwoo does not know. but what she knows is that she’s thirsty and she really needs a drink. so she reaches for the nearest drink, jungeun’s, and drinks it in one go.

“woah jiwoo... that’s vodka!” jungeun is shocked to see jiwoo do what she just did. her face cringing, feeling the burn in her throat although it was jiwoo who drank such strong beverage, “take it slow, damn...”

jiwoo doesn’t hear her, her eyes still trailed in front. sooyoung meets her eyes but quickly averts her gaze, focusing on the girl again, blatantly disregarding her. 

“is this some kind of kdrama shit where you make each other jealous?” jungeun whispers to herself, quietly observing her dumb friends. she sees cafe girl leaning forward and shyly hugs sooyoung who looks frozen from the action, before walking off. 

in her mind, the  ‘oh no’  audio that she often hears on online edits and memes these days start to play. she honestly wants to leave. surely, being in the middle of a quarrel right now is not the best place to be. 

she swears if sooyoung did that just to make jiwoo just as jealous, she’s going to punch her. she doesn’t care if sooyoung is older, she would punch her. such a coward thing to do instead confronting the matter.

_ says another coward.  _ the voice in jungeun’s head chimes in. she shakes her head quickly to ward off such thoughts.  _ not tonight. _

it’s a disaster that sooyoung asked for, herself.

jiwoo is currently silent beside her. staring at the content of the shot glass she is holding before chugging it down, face contorting from the bitterness.

sooyoung makes her way to her friends, plopping herself beside jungeun even though there is an empty space beside jiwoo.

no. she does not want to occupy a space where the girl jiwoo was talking to was seated. call her petty but she gives zero fucks right now. she’s jealous and she won’t deny it.

_ who is she? and who gave her the right to pat jiwoo’s head? yes, my jiwoo is cute but she has no right! _

sooyoung’s mind is going haywire from all her thoughts. she thinks she’s going crazy, having a conversation with herself.

but what really made her furious from jealousy was the way jiwoo smiled at the girl. it looked too pure and sweet that she can’t help her selfish thoughts of wanting it only for her to pour in.

_ she smiles to her friends like that. stop overthinking. _

her rational side kicks in, only to be kicked out. sooyoung is having a hard time controlling her emotions. not when she isn’t just jealous but drunk too.

jungeun clears her throat, fidgeting in her seat.two dark auras from both sides suffocating her. “uh... are you guys having fun?”

she figures it is a good idea to break the silence. that it would help cut the ever growing tension. but what she didn’t know is that her question is a trigger waiting to be pulled before both sides start to fire their bullets of words.

“i don’t know, ask your best friend. i think she is. too much fun i must say,” sooyoung remarks without looking at any of them. she plays with her full cup as she gazes forward, focusing on nothing.

jungeun bites her lip, racking her brain for a possible way out of this situation. if only heejin and hyunjin are awake to help her. if only jinsol- okay maybe not her. 

but she needs someone to aid her this instant!

she hears jiwoo scoff on her right but stays silent. which is a relief on jungeun’s part. at least jiwoo is trying to control her emotions.

“had fun with your friend, jiwooming?” 

only if sooyoung would stop running her mouth. jungeun glares at her, telling her to stop but the older only rolls her eyes, then stares at jiwoo, waiting for her answer.

her nickname fills her ears but the way sooyoung says it with sarcasm annoyed jiwoo even more. and she can only take enough.

she fights sooyoung’s gaze with her own. looking at her with pure irritation that somehow reached a greater peak when she sees sooyoung smugly looking at her.

it surprises sooyoung. scares her even because jiwoo has never looked this aggravated. but her ego is too big for her to back down.

“are you insinuating something, unnie?” she asks in fake innocence, challenging sooyoung.

“am i?” sooyoung asks back.

jungeun, in the middle, is looking so stressed and spent by just listening on her friends’ spiteful barrage of words.

“a friend is always fun to talk to, yes. but i bet it’s more fun to talk to an admirer right? maybe even score a hug after?” 

gone is the sweet jiwoo they all know. in front of them is another side of jiwoo who only shows up when she has reached her breaking point of irritation. jungeun knows it’s about to be bad. “stop it, you two. you’re both being childish i swear,”

but she gets ignored.

sooyoung frowns at jiwoo’s remark, scoffing, “what? you’re jealous? didn’t we talk about this already?”

“we did and no i’m not. i am just merely asking if it was fun, why are you even getting so worked up? unless you’re the one who’s jealous?” a hollow chuckle escapes jiwoo’s lips, still staring at sooyoung in pure annoyance masked with a smile.

now the answer to jiwoo’s question is easy. a simple yes. indeed she is jealous of jiwoo and her ‘friend’ but again, her ego is way too big for her to swallow and admit it to the girl. 

“me? jealous?” her pride is way at the top that she mindlessly spouts words on her defense, sneering, “why would i be? i don’t get jealous over someone i’m not in a relationship with unlike some people i know,”

a mockery. sooyoung is mocking her past actions. she is mocking her for getting jealous over the girl back when they were at the cafe, and jiwoo feels her heart being squeezed slowly at that.

“unnie, what the hell? are you hearing yourself?” jungeun raises her voice at sooyoung. good thing the music is loud enough to help conceal her voice and not attract people nearby. she is aware of what sooyoung was talking about because jiwoo confided with her about it.

jiwoo stares at sooyoung in silence, still bewildered by her choice of words. her jaw seems to lock itself in place, her tongue tied, and all she could do is speak inside her mind.

they say roses, no matter how beautiful they are, still has thorns that can hurt you. sooyoung, right now, is an image of a rose. and jiwoo just pricked herself with the girl’s sharp thorns. 

“jiwoo,” jungeun mentions her name, reverting her back to reality. blinking back her shock, she grips the glass she didn’t notice she is still holding, giving it to jungeun in haste, before standing to take her leave whispering an  _‘excuse me’_.

“hey, where are you going?” jungeun takes her wrist but immediately lets go when she sees the look in jiwoo’s eyes — a hollow one, devoid of emotions hidden beneath a pool of browns and blacks.

“to breathe. it’s suddenly suffocating here,”

jungeun heaves a breath, contemplating whether to follow jiwoo or give her time to think. she decides on the latter. jiwoo walks off with heavy steps.

on her left, sooyoung is silent, frowning down on her cup before chugging it down. “what happened there, unnie?”

“i don’t know...”

jungeun does not want to contribute to the heat but she has too many questions and if she wants to help her friends reconcile, she needs answers. “what do you mean you don’t know? didn’t you hear your words?” 

“i did,”

“then why did you say that?!” she exasperates, frustration getting the better of her. sooyoung, just like her jinsol, is too stubborn. now she perfectly understands how the two became best friends.

“i said i don’t know, okay?!” sooyoung also raises her tone, meeting jungeun’s eyes, before slumping back in her seat, “i don’t know... but what i know is that i fucked up.”

_that, you are._

jungeun can only sigh, leaving sooyoung in her own thoughts. minutes of silence later she hears her huffing before rising to her feet. “where are you going?”

“to get more drinks.” perhaps letting her think to herself is not a good idea. jungeun frowns at her, giving her a look of utter disbelief, a look that spells  ‘what the fuck’ . but it appears that sooyoung can’t take the message so jungeun resorts to the use of words.

“what? you’re going to drown yourself instead of fixing your shits?”

the older gives her a look of boredom, “then what do you suggest i do, huh?”

“find jiwoo and apologize! damn, are you dumb or stupid?”

“she won’t talk to me. have you seen her? she’s mad.” jungeun pulls her back down on the couch. sooyoung lets her. maybe she really needs someone to knock some sense into her and jungeun is taking the initiative to take on the role.

“she’s not mad, unnie,” jungeun holds her shoulder, asking for her attention, looking at her dead in the eye, “she’s hurt.”

_ she’s hurt.  _ jiwoo is hurt because of her impulsive actions. sooyoung does not know what to do with the information. she feels helpless, embarrassed even, that she has inflicted pain on jiwoo. she can’t even blame it on the alcohol because she knows that her mind is working perfectly fine although being slightly dizzy.

jungeun sees the helplessness in her eyes so she speaks, cutting her thoughts out, and hopefully to encourage her, “now go and appease your girl before it’s too late,”

apologize. that’s the least sooyoung can do. 

—

black blankets over the entire city. no stars in sight but the moon shines so bright looking so lonesome yet still so magnificently beautiful.

jiwoo hugs herself. the wind whistling while the cool air seeps through her clothes. yet, it somehow feels soothing — the freshness of the air serving as a comfort. she didn’t know how much she needed a breather being too preoccupied in an enclosed space full of booze and intoxicated bodies.

the emptiness of the balcony reminding her of solace. the loud music somehow muffled out, few chatters heard from below, probably from people in the garden, but the setting is enough to lose some tensions in jiwoo’s body.

although not to an absolute level because the ordeal she just had with sooyoung still runs freely in her mind. 

truth be told, jiwoo does not want to think about it anymore. telling herself that it was the alcohol speaking, not sooyoung. maybe that is actually the case, but jiwoo can’t stop herself from feeling hurt.

again here comes the dilemma of how to act or not to act around someone you are in a confusing relationship with. more than friends but less than lovers, where is she supposed to stand? jiwoo’s brain can continue hurting but she is not getting an answer unless they both talk about it.

but she doesn’t really want to talk right now.

to go home, that’s what she wants. to bury herself under the thick covers, knocked out cold with a wish that when she wakes up and opens her eyes the next morning, everything is nothing but an awful dream. she hates being on bad terms with anyone, after all.

might as well do just that. but first, she needs to send jungeun a message since they used her car. only, she doesn’t have her purse with her, realizing that she might have left it on the couch after storming off.

leaning back against the wall, she finds no energy to berate herself. choosing to wait for maybe half an hour before she goes to get it, hoping that sooyoung isn’t there anymore. 

another confrontation is not ideal for jiwoo right now.

but the gods seem to be against her tonight because the sliding door opens up and enters sooyoung who looks to be searching for something before her eyes settle to jiwoo, recognition dawning upon her face.

jiwoo licks her lips and musters her patience. because there is this nagging thought that she will be needing a lot for what’s about to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes trouble,, maybe ;)


End file.
